


you cross my mind (so stay with me)

by ephemeralsuns



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, this is like a four weddings and a funeral au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-24
Updated: 2016-03-24
Packaged: 2018-05-28 20:12:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6343582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ephemeralsuns/pseuds/ephemeralsuns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jongin hates weddings, so he never expected to fall in love in one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you cross my mind (so stay with me)

**Author's Note:**

> title from you cross my mind by twin forks. i listened to it's okay that's love ost while writing this, so feel free to do it while you read! thank you to R for holding my hand through this :')
> 
> it's loosely based on the movie four weddings and a funeral but dont worry theres no funeral :)

 The wind ruffles his hair as he runs up the steps to the church. He’s terribly late.

 

Jongin cringes when his shoes clack too loudly in the silent church as he makes his way hastily to find his seat. He brushes his hair with one hand, smiling apologetically at the reproaching looks people give him for arriving late. He’d turned off his alarm that morning swearing to himself he’d get up in five minutes, but then those five minutes turned into an hour and one phone call from Jongdae screaming into his ear to hurry up and get his ass to the church. 

Chanyeol lifts his hand to get his attention when Jongin passes by their row. Baekhyun sits next to him, and he grins when he sees Jongin.

“Hi, sorry, I’m late,” Jongin says, settling in a seat next to them. “Traffic was terrible.”

He ignores Chanyeol’s snort and Baekhyun’s snicker beside him. “By ‘traffic’ you mean you oversleeping?” Baekhyun asks.

“Look who finally managed to come out of bed!” Jongdae says, walking up to them. He takes a seat next to Jongin. “Minseok was already planning how to throw you into the Han river with your pockets full of stones.”

“That’s impossible,” Jongin says. “I’m like a foot taller than him.”

“Now he’s really going to kill you after I tell him you said that.” Jongdae smirks, and feigns a pained groan when Jongin stabs two fingers into his side.

“Have you seen his arms?” Baekhyun asks, making a show of flexing. His skinny arms pale in comparison to Minseok’s toned arms. “He could pick me and you up in one arm and still have some space for someone else.”

“Please, tone down your boner for my brother,” Jongdae says. “It’s gross and it’s his wedding day.”

“We’re in a sacred place, hyung,” Jongin chimes in, and Baekhyun gives them a mock glare.

Their banter is cut short when the wedding march starts, and Jongdae nudges Baekhyun to shut up. Minseok walks down the aisle accompanied by their father, his proud smile making his eyes crinkle behind his round glasses. Both of them beam at Jongin and Jongdae when they pass by their row, and they mirror their smiles, offering thumbs up as response. Luhan stands by the altar, watching Minseok get to him with the look of a man irrefutably in love.

The couple is dressed in black tuxedos, their hair styled in a slick comb, and warm smiles matching on their faces as they stand side by side. They exchange smiles and secret looks during the pastor’s speech, as though they were having a conversation in a language only them could speak.

After exchanging the rings, applause erupts inside the church as soon as the married couple kiss. They turn to the audience, composed by their families and friends, and smile brightly, their hands joined between them. Junmyeon smiles widely, teary eyed, without an ounce of self-consciousness as he stands next to Minseok as his best man.

When Jongdae surreptitiously wipes a tear from his eye, Jongin bumps their shoulders and gives him a one-armed hug when his brother scowls at him.

As guests gather to congratulate the newlyweds outside the church, Jongin and Jongdae make their way through the crowd to get to his brother and new husband. Minseok beams at them when they reach them, and doesn’t wait to give Jongin a crushing hug.

“Congrats, hyung!” Jongin says. “I’m so happy for you!”

“I thought you weren’t gonna make it, you brat!” Minseok chides him, punching him lightly in the side.

“I thought he would call off  the wedding if his baby brother didn’t show up,” Luhan jokes, and giggles when he earns a glare from Minseok. He kisses him on the cheek, making him blush.

“Get a room you two,” Jongdae says, making Minseok roll his eyes. He opens his arms, smiling, motioning for Minseok to hug him. Minseok’s expression is reluctant as he complies, but his smile betrays him. “Congratulations, hyung! I can’t believe you’ve left me here in the land of the single losers!”

Minseok laughs as he pulls away. “I’m sorry,” he says. “But at least you still have Jongin and Chanyeol.”

“Hey!” Jongin protests, his laughter betraying his tone. “Speak for yourself!”

“The day I see Jongin talking about marriage will be the day I know the world is ending,” Jongdae says, and Minseok and Luhan join in his laughter.

Jongin blushes, and punches his brother’s arm amiably. “I’m sorry I’m not a romantic loser like you.”

“Have all the dramas you watch with Baekhyun not gotten to you yet?” Luhan teases him, poking a finger into his side.

“You watch them with Minseok, too!” Jongin says, and Luhan holds his hands up in defeat.

“I do anything for my husband,” Luhan says solemnly.

“I’ll hold you to that,” Minseok jokes, and the rest of them laugh.

Jongin hugs Luhan then, patting his back. “Congrats, hyung. I’m happy to be related to you now.”

“Thank you, Jonginnie,” Luhan tells him, patting his backside. “When will I get to go to your wedding?”

Jongin laughs airily. “Not a chance in hell, hyung.”

Luhan shakes his head, smiling all the same. “You don’t know what you’re missing out on, Jonginnie.”

Jongin thinks that he almost knew, once. “It’s just not for me, hyung.” He licks his lips. His mouth is too dry. “But I’m glad for you and Minseok-hyung.”

Luhan regards him curiously, but doesn’t get to ask further as Jongin and the rest are moved aside so other relatives and old friends can congratulate the couple as well. Jongin sees Junmyeon walking towards Minseok and Luhan, but stops before he reaches them when a tall man calls his name.

“Sehun!” Jongin hears his brother say, his voice rich with cheerful surprise. “Long time no see!”

Junmyeon pats the stranger’s arm, a soft smile on his face as though he’s seeing a good friend after a long time. The stranger is tall, dark hair elegantly parted in the middle, and legs that go for miles. Jongin bites his bottom lip involuntarily. Long, lean legs have always been one of his weaknesses.

He doesn’t look away in time when Junmyeon turns back in his direction, and Jongin catches the stranger’s eye. The man’s eyes widen as in surprise for a moment, but then it’s gone, as his expression turns to something unreadable.

Jongin, intrigued, watches him mingle within the crowd of guests, and, with a little groan, sees him go up to Soojung and Sunyoung to greet them. Soojung and him are on good terms after that fling they had a couple of years ago, but she loves to tell embarrassing stories about people she’s dated to anyone who is willing to listen.

Reception is held outdoors in a hotel, a spacious tent with fairy lights lining the tent poles and going up to the ceiling. Jongin goes to find his table when his mother comes up to him, her eyes still red-rimmed from the tears she’d shed at the wedding, but her makeup is intact. She must’ve reapplied on the way to the reception.

“You look so handsome,” she tells him, squeezing his arm. “I knew that suit looks really good on you.”

Jongin blushes, and puts his arms over hers as she fusses over his tie. “Mom, I have to go find my table.”

“Let me introduce you to one of my friend’s daughter first,” she says. “She’s very lovely!” she reassures him at the face he makes. Lately she’d made it her life’s mission to introduce people to his sons in hope that soon they’d follow on their older brother’s steps. Jongin has refused every single time she’s asked, but that doesn’t mean she’ll give up. He knows who he inherited his stubbornness from. “She went to K-Arts too! I’m sure you’ll get along very well.”

“Thanks, mom,” he says. “But I have to sit with Jongdae, Baekhyun and Chanyeol.”

“Oh well. Next time, then,” she says, hiding her disappointment with a warm smile. He always feels a pang of guilt at her face whenever he says no, but then he remembers Jongdae telling him about the date their mother had set him up with yelling at the entire staff at the restaurant and that guilt quickly fades away. “You’ll like these girls! Your brother said Eunhee was very lovely.”

“I’m sure she is.” Jongin’s smile is as tight as a bowstring. “I’m gonna go find my table now. I’ll see you and dad later, okay?”

Jongin gives his mother a hug before he moves on to find Jongdae and the rest. Baekhyun calls out his name, beckoning him with a wave of his hand. Jongdae and Chanyeol are already, talking loudly about something.

“Did mom try to set you up with another one of his friend’s daughter?” Jongdae asks when Jongin sits next to him. “She wouldn’t let me go until I agreed to go out with her next week.”

“All her efforts are wasted on you,” Baekhyun says. “You’ll scare them all away.”

“Shut up!” Jongdae says. “You’re lucky Taeyeon has bad taste and hasn’t realized yet.”

“Don’t talk like that about my girlfriend!” Baekhyun chides him. Jongdae hisses when Baekhyun flicks him on the forehead.

“If Taeyeon-noona were here she’d kick your ass in a second, hyung,” Jongin laughs. He bats away his brother’s hand reaching out to smack his head. “Too bad she had to go to China.”

“Yeah, she called me to say more work came up so she’s not coming back til next week,” Baekhyun says. He has those sad puppy eyes that makes Jongin want to stroke his hair. “I kinda miss her already.”

Jongdae always forgets about his bickering with Baekhyun in the blink of an eye. He pats Baekhyun on the back and offers to spend the weekend at a club with the guys to cheer him up. Jongin is more focused on the way Chanyeol has suddenly gone too quiet, too preoccupied with sweeping his thumb over the blank screen of his phone.

After Junmyeon’s speech, with anecdotes about Minseok and Luhan in college, it’s time for the newlywed’s first dance. The couple moves swiftly on the dancefloor accompanied by John Legend’s ‘All of Me’, which Jongin suspects was Luhan’s choice. He’d always been a romantic to a T, even if he insists it was because Minseok told him to. The looks on their faces are of total admiration and love, and Jongin wonders for a second how it would feel to be on the giving and receiving end of it. He had thought he'd had something similar once, but that had been so long ago…

When the music changes, giving place to a more upbeat track, other couples join in the dance. Baekhyun pulls Jongdae up with him by his wrist and drags him to the dancefloor, Jongdae complaining loudly without any real bite to his words.

Chanyeol laughs loudly at Jongdae and Baekhyun currently causing havoc on the dance floor, bumping into other couples while they jump to the music. He turns to Jongin, giving him a lazy smile, his cheeks rosy with alcohol.

“I’m not dancing with you,” Jongin says as he takes a sip of his drink.

“I wasn’t gonna ask you, anyway,” Chanyeol says, entirely unconvincing.

“Remember Jessica’s wedding when we danced and you almost fell over the groom’s nieces—”

“And you bumped into the her aunts, almost toppling them to the floor—”

“It was a complete disaster,” Jongin says, and Chanyeol agrees solemnly, a grin breaking into his face when Jongin laughs. “Let’s never do it again.”

“I’ll give you a couple more of those beers and you’ll be the one asking me,” Chanyeol says with a smirk.

Jongin almost spits his beer at the sloppy wink Chanyeol sends his way. Chanyeol has always been a lightweight, even though he denies vehemently. Back in college, Chanyeol used to talk all week about going out drinking on the weekend after finishing his exams, only to get drunk on the first few drinks and blackout for the rest of the night. Jongin and Baekhyun would drag him back to his dorm afterwards, because he’s always been too big for one person to carry.

Chanyeol turns to watch Jongdae and Baekhyun dancing, and Jongin scans the crowd. His eyes fall on Sehun sitting with Soojung, both of them laughing at whatever Soojung had just told him.  _He has a nice smile_ , Jongin muses, his own appearing subtly at the corners. Sehun bends forward while laughing, his whole body moving with the force of his mirth, and leans closer into Soojung, her face covered by a curtain of brown hair. Jongin’s lips press into a line.

“Who’s that?” Chanyeol asks, following his line of vision.

“I don’t know,” Jongin sputters. He glances away, a little flustered at being caught staring at Sehun. “I think he’s Junmyeon-hyung’s friend.”

“I saw him come in with Soojung and they’ve been stuck together since then.” A playful smile slips on his lips, and gives Jongin a meaningful look. “You’ve got no chance, buddy.”

Jongin huffs. “I never said anything about him. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You’ve been staring at him all day,” Chanyeol says. “Poor guy probably has holes on his head.”

“That’s not true! I wasn’t staring at him!” Jongin feels color creep into his cheeks. Chanyeol guffaws, and  Jongin scowls at him before slapping his shoulder. “Shut up! I was just… looking in his direction.”

“Hey, guys!” Sunyoung plumps down on the seat next to Jongin. She pats Jongin’s head in greeting, and beams at Chanyeol across the table. “Why aren’t you dancing?”

“You don’t want to see them dance together,” Junmyeon says, taking the seat next to Sunyoung. He hands her a flute of champagne, which she takes with a little sound of appreciation. “It’s a disaster.”

“I’m offended, hyung,” Jongin says, his tone mock-affronted, a hand on his chest. Junmyeon giggles behind his glass of champagne. “I don’t teach dance classes for a living for nothing. It’s Chanyeol who has two left feet.”

“No, it’s just that you are a terrible teacher,” Chanyeol says.

“You’re too long to be coordinated,” Jongin says. “It’s a lost cause. You look like a baby giraffe learning to walk.”

“That’s a cute image, though,” Sunyoung laughs. “I’m sure Chanyeollie is not so bad.”

“Whatever it is, Jongin could never make him dance,” Junmyeon tells Sunyoung. “Even when we were in college Chanyeol was a menace on the floor.”

“Hyung,” Chanyeol whines, pouting. “You’re supposed to be the sweet Kim brother. I feel betrayed.”

“I’m sorry, Chanyeollie.” Junmyeon smiles gently as he pats his head. Chanyeol’s grin is close to a dog being petted by his owner. He laughs at his expression. “But we all know it’s the truth.”

“Stop trying to steal my brother,” Jongin says, nudging Chanyeol with his elbow. “Get your own hyung.”

Junmyeon laughs. “You know you’ll always be my favorite, Jonginnie.” He ruffles Jongin’s hair, and Jongin pouts.

“Hyung, this is the only time  Jongin doesn’t look he’s just rolled out of bed,” Chanyeol says. “Don’t ruin it.”

Jongin scowls at him while he fixes his hair, and Chanyeol grins at him innocently.

“Soojung’s still talking to that guy,” Sunyoung comments offhandedly, turned in their direction. Sehun is talking about something while using his hands, his leg crossed while Soojung listens intently. “She said they met while working on a photoshoot. He’s a stylist too, I think.” She pauses and purses her lips thoughtfully. “He’s cute, but he’s not really Soojung’s type.”

Junmyeon laughs again. “I don’t think she’s his type either.”

Jongin’s eyes go from one to the other while he drinks his champagne, trying for all the world not look like he’s very interested in their conversation. He pointedly ignores Chanyeol’s eyes on him.

“Why do you think that” Sunyoung asks. “Do you know him?”

“His name is Sehun,” Junmyeon says, and smiles fondly. “He’s an old friend from college. Luhan and him used to take dance classes together until Sehun moved to China.”

Jongin gapes, dropping his feigned nonchalance when he asks, “Wait, he went to K-ARTS, too?”

His perplexed expression draws a chuckle from his older brother. “Yeah, he was there for two semesters until he left on an exchange program. He’s an stylist now, working in China.”

_How come I never met him_ , is at the tip of his tongue, but he swallows it down with his beer. However, Junmyeon seems to have read his mind, as he’s always had since they were kids.

“You probably didn’t see him around. You were too busy practicing back then,” Junmyeon says, his smile soft.

“And you were with Kyungsoo all the time, too,” Sunyoung says. “No wonder you never noticed him.”

Jongin’s smile falters, but he catches himself in time. He offers Sunyoung his hundred watts smile, and is thankful when Chanyeol chimes in with,  _you know how absent-minded our Jonginnie can be_. His mouth suddenly feels like a desert so he drinks his champagne. Junmyeon seems to have noticed, though, because he reaches to rest his hand on his knee. Then he excuses himself to take a call outside, and leaves Jongin trying to push back memories that inevitably come to the surface at the slightest of mention of that name.

“He’s cute,” Sunyoung says, and her words take Jongin out of his temporary stupor. “He looked so bored at the wedding, but I think that’s just his face. Just like with Soojung.”

“Jongin called dibs on him already, sorry,” Chanyeol says. He laughs when Jongin slugs his arm. “He’s been staring like a creep all day!”

“I didn’t—I don’t even know him,” Jongin grumbles. His cheeks feel warm when both of his friends laughs.

“Well, that hasn’t stopped you before,” Sunyoung says, an impish smile on her lips. “You didn’t know Yixing very well when you asked him out after we all went bowling, and you dated him for three months.”

“And let’s not forget you  _were_  Soojung’s type once,” Chanyeol says. “And before her it was Jinri for a couple of months. Oh and that guy Taemin from your studio, too.”

Sunyoung laughs. “Nobody is safe from Jonginnie.”

“What can I say, people can’t resist me.” Jongin winks, and Chanyeol rolls his eyes.

“It’s just that you’re an insufferable flirt,” Chanyeol says. “You can’t even go to the shop without making the lady at the cashier gush over you.”

“Jongin has always had that charm,” Sunyoung says. “It’s like he makes people want to take care of him.”

“It’s probably because he looks about two seconds from falling asleep all the time,” Chanyeol says. “And those damn pouty lips.”

“Don’t hate me because I’m prettier than you, Park Chanyeol,” Jongin says smugly. “Jealousy makes you uglier.”

Jongin’s laugh comes out in a huff when Chanyeol punches his side. “Please, I’m as handsome as they come.”

“Your mom’s opinion doesn’t count, Chanyeol.”

“It’s because you’re cute, Jonginnie,” Sunyoung coos, pinching his cheek. It effectively puts an end to their bickering as Chanyeol giggles at him. “I’m glad you never tried to ask me out because you’ve always been like a little brother to me.”

Jongin wants to say she treats him more like a pet, what with all the pats and cooing, but he only gives her his charming smile, the one reserved for his mom’s friends when they gush over how handsome he is. “It’s because you’re too pretty for me, Sunyoung-ah.”

Sunyoung laughs, and slaps his arm gently. “What a flirt!”

Jongdae and Baekhyun come back to their table then. Jongdae immediately fixes on the way Jongin smiles at Sunyoung and narrows his eyes at him. Jongin knows it’s without real malice, but he’s also aware of the reason behind it. It’s also why he never tried anything on Sunyoung: Jongin knew Jongdae would kick his ass if he asked out the girl Jongdae’s been pining for for years.

“What are you guys talking about?” Jongdae asks, his eyes going from Jongin to Sunyoung as he takes a seat next to her.

“About how much of a big flirt Jonginnie is,” Sunyoung says. “He doesn’t have a cure.”

“He got that from me, you know,” Jongdae says, his lips curling. “All that charm goes in the family.”

“So when did you lose it?” Chanyeol asks.

Sunyoung’s laughter stops when a new song comes on, and a smiles breaks into her face. “I love this song!” She turns to Jongdae and grabs his hand, which makes his bickering with Chanyeol instantly die in his mouth. “Let’s dance, c’mon!”

Jongin watches as his brother is dragged away to the floor, a blush over his cheeks and ears evident. Then Jongin finds Sehun has left his table and is now dancing with Soojung on the dancefloor. Jongin can only see Sehun’s back from where he’s sitting, but he can see Soojung’s face, her shy smile directed up at him. Sehun leans down to tell Soojung something over the loud music, and Soojung laughs at whatever he said, her hand covering her mouth. Sunyoung had said Sehun wasn’t Soojung’s type, but they hadn’t separated since they arrived at the reception. He doesn’t know what it is that is making him so drawn to Sehun, but he would like to talk to him to find out. And not with Soojung there, who always brings up the One Piece marathons Jongin would make her watch with him when she asked him to do her nails.

Jongin can’t help the sigh that escapes him, and is grateful Chanyeol and Baekhyun don’t seem to notice, too busy talking about a drama they’re both keeping on at the moment.

“Do you guys want to go outside?” Jongin offers. Baekhyun nods, and Chanyeol gives a lazy shrug.

They head out into the garden where some of the guests are wandering, their voices and laughter a contrast to the music inside. They walk leisurely along the edge of the garden, trying to avoid Jongin’s aunts, who are now gushing loudly over one of his cousins.

Then, Jongin spots Sehun and Soojung in the garden, walking among the guests. Their eyes meet for a second, and Jongin wonders if he must have imagined the subtle smile that Sehun gave him.

“Look who’s there,” Chanyeol says, in that obnoxious tone he uses to tease Jongin. “Sehun-ssi is over there.”

“Oh who’s that?” Baekhyun asks. A mischievous smile. “Has our Jonginnie set his eyes on someone already?”

“He’s been staring at him all day,” Chanyeol says, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Why don’t you go talk to him, Jonginnie?” Baekhyun asks.

“Shut up.” Jongin elbows him. “I’m not gonna go talk to him while Soojung’s there.”

Jongin catches sight of Soojung walking back into the reception, and cranes his neck to see Sehun. He finds him near the other end of the garden, talking to one of his uncles.

“Go talk to him!” Chanyeol pushes Jongin towards there. “Go now or I’ll eat all your food back at the house.”

Baekhyun snorts. “You always do that anyway.”

“I hate you two,” Jongin grumbles. He scowls at them, but starts walking towards Sehun anyway. “I’ll see you later.”

Chanyeol and Baekhyun beam at him, giving him thumbs up. By the time he reaches Sehun, Jongin’s uncle has left, but not without a few pats on Sehun’s back. By the look on his face, it must have almost broken a few bones.

“Hey,” Jongin says when he approaches him. “You’re Sehun, right?”

Sehun turns to him with a curious look, and then his face softens into a blend of recognition and surprise.

“Hey, it’s you,” Sehun says, a smile at the corner of his lips. “Minseok’s little brother.”

In any other circumstance, Jongin would preen at the fact that Sehun seems to have asked around for him, but this time, he feels flustered, feeling heat at the back of his neck.

“A-ah yeah,” Jongin says with a chuckle. “That’s me. Just by a few years, though.”

“Minseok’s told me a lot about his baby brother Jongin,” Sehun says. “It made me think you were in high school or something.”

Jongin chuckles, embarrassed. “I already graduated college. I’m not exactly a baby.”

“I know,” Sehun says. There’s a twitch in his smile that makes Jongin think he’s teasing him, but his gaze is steady and serious. “You do have a baby face, though.”

Jongin’s so used to his brothers and friends teasing him about being the baby that glaring is more of an reflex at this point, but he doesn’t expect Sehun to smile bemusedly.

“Well, I’m gonna look  young when I’m old,” Jongin says loftily. He can’t help it. “Not many can say that about themselves.”

There’s a pause, and then Sehun bursts into laughter. His hand comes up to hide his mouth, and his shoulders shake. Jongin is stunned for a second, but then he smiles. His cheeks feel so warm, but it’s probably because of the weather.

“Jonginnie!” A man’s booming voice calls. Before Jongin can turn, there’s a strong hand patting his back, nearly knocking all the air out of him. “Long time no see! How’s my favorite nephew?”

His uncle swoops him into a bone-crushing hug. Jongin presses his lips, the strong smell of beer hitting him like a brick. He sees Sehun over his uncle’s arm, his amused grin turning his eyes into crescents. Jongin would very gladly dig a hole in the ground and bury himself there.

“I’ll leave you two to catch up,” Sehun says after Jongin’s uncle releases him. “See you later~”

Sehun bows subtly in their direction before leaving. Jongin is barely listening to what his uncle is telling him, too busy wondering why he feels so disappointed to watch Sehun walk away.

 

Jongin doesn’t see Sehun until he goes back inside an hour later, after he has finally managed to get away from his uncle and other relatives, not without a extracted promise to visit them. The mild buzz of alcohol he had felt earlier has pretty much faded, and only leaves him with a weary sensation. It verbalizes into a groan when he spots Sehun across the room, sharing a table with none other than Chanyeol and Baekhyun.

Jongin goes to the bar to get a beer, casting glances at Sehun’s table along the way. They’re laughing at whatever Chanyeol is saying, his hands gesturing eagerly. He feels a misplaced sense of betrayal at how easily his friends seem to be getting along with him when he’d been trying all day and so far had only gotten so far as to embarrass himself in front of him. Traitors.

“Jonginnie!” he hears as soon as a hand is placed on his shoulder. He turns to find Junmyeon beaming up at him. “There you are! Chanyeol and Baekhyun were looking for you.”

“Were they,” Jongin deadpans.

“Yeah,” Junmyeon says,. He pauses, and gives him a meaningful look, his hand beckoning him closer. He leans in and Jongin bends down a notch to hear him. “Sehun was asking around about you.”

“What?”

Junmyeon giggles at his bewilderment and only then Jongin realizes that his brother’s cheeks are redder than usual, and his breath smells lightly of champagne. “He asked where you were staying, and I  told him you were staying with me.”

“What?! Hyung,” Jongin whines.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Junmyeon laughs. “I didn’t realize!”

“We could’ve—” Jongin is cut off when Junmyeon places a palm over his mouth.

“Save yourself the details,” he says sagely, his face turning serious. “I don’t want to know about my little brother hooking up.” Junmyeon squeaks when Jongin licks his palm, and removes his hand. “That’s gross, Jonginnie!”

“Why do you all keep treating me like I’m 12,” Jongin protests.

“Maybe because you keep acting like it,” Soojung teases him, suddenly appearing next to him. A glass of champagne in her delicate hand. “You’re the baby after all.”

Jongin frowns. “I’m older than you for a few months.”

“Soojung-ah,” Junmyeon says. His smile goofy, and cheeks flushed. “You look so pretty tonight.”

Soojung blushes, covers her chuckle with her hand. “You’re drunk, oppa.”

“I’m not!” Junmyeon almost trips when he turns around, but Jongin catches him with an arm around his waist.

“I should get him to his room,” Jongin says. “Where’s Jongdae? He’s got the car keys.”

Both of them look around at the same time, only to find aforementioned brother in the dance floor, furiously. Couples around them give them amused looks, a contrast to the way Jongin and Soojung are gaping at the sight.

“Well, that’s a surprise,” he says in time. “This proves miracles do happen I guess.”

“I have so many questions,” Soojung says. There’s mischief in her smile, coupled with a glint in her eyes. “Tomorrow’s going to be very interesting.”

Jongin surely doesn’t want to be on the receiving end of her interrogation. He hears wolf whistles from where Chanyeol and Baekhyun are sitting with Sehun, and knows that Jongdae isn’t going to get away with it either.

 

 

Soojung drives them back to the hostel they’re staying for the night in her car. They talk about the wedding while Junmyeon sleeps soundly in the back seat. When Soojung parks outside the hostel, she turns to Jongin in her seat, her hand wrapped loosely on the steering wheel. There’s a quirk on one end of her lips Jongin’s learned to associate with Soojung being up to something.

“By the way,” Soojung says, “Sehun is staying in room 14.”

Jongin blinks, confused. “And why are you telling me that?”

“He told me to tell you,” she says, like Jongin asked her what color the sky is. She winks and then pushes him. “Go take Junmyeon oppa to his room. Bye, oppa.” She waves her hand at Junmyeon, who mumbles what Jongin assumes is a goodbye.

After Jongin has tucked Junmyeon in his bed, he leaves a glass of water on his bedside table. He gives one last look at his brother snoring on the bed, and closes the door carefully behind him.

He walks by a few doors until he gets to room 14, the numbers glinting faintly from the light in the hallway. Jongin takes a deep breath, and knocks on the door, a short, quiet rasp with his knuckles. His heart skips a beat when the door opens seconds later, and Sehun appears in front of him, his shirt slightly rumpled and his tie gone, but looking as good as he had all day.

“Hi,” he says, a soft smile on his lips. His hair is a bit ruffled, and for a moment Jongin wants to slide his hands through it. “I didn’t know if you’d come.”

“I—Uh—Soojung—” Jongin clears his throat. He feels heat rising at the base of his neck under Sehun’s gaze. “Soojung told me your room’s number.”

“I told her to tell you,” Sehun says, his smile bemused. “I didn’t know if you could sneak out from your friends.”

“Yeah, they’re the type to find out about everything,” Jongin says. “But I managed to be sneaky and… sneak out from them.”

“Well, I’m glad you could sneakily sneak out from them, then.” Sehun chuckles. He steps aside and opens the door wider. “Come in.”

Jongin closes the door behind him. The room is lit by a soft glow coming from the lamp on the bedside table. Sehun’s jacket is laid over the back of a chair on the corner of the room, his shoes sitting beside it. The sheets on the bed are rumpled, as though Sehun had laid down for a bit while waiting for Jongin. Waiting for him. The thought sends a thrill through him that sends his heart racing.

Sehun goes to stand next to the bed, unbuttoning his cuffs and riding his sleeves up his arms. Jongin can’t help but stare at his forearms, sucking on his bottom lip. He meets Sehun’s eyes when he looks up, feeling his stomach tying up in tiny knots. He feels like a teenager with his first hook up all over again, this time without the help of alcohol to push him through.

Sehun smiles softly again, and Jongin can read something akin to expectation on his eyes that makes him just a little more nervous.

“Your brother’s wedding was really nice,” Sehun says tentatively. He takes steps closer to Jongin. “Best one I’ve attended so far.”

“Do you go to a lot of weddings?”

“I get dragged along it’s the most accurate word, I think.” His mouth pulls down at the corner comically, and Jongin laughs. “This is the first one I’ve gone to alone, though.”

“You don’t like them?” Jongin asks. He takes a step forward, and feels reassured when Sehun doesn’t move. “This is the first one I’ve seen you in.”

“It’s the only one I’ve been to in Korea,” Sehun explains. “I flew all the way from China just for Luhan. We were really good friends back in college, and we kept in touch when I moved there.” His voice lowers, a deep cadence that makes warmth coil in Jongin’s belly. “Do  _you_  go to a lot of weddings?”

“Lately, yeah,” he says, and notes with certain pleasure that both of their voices have gone down a notch. It gives everything a certain note of intimacy. “Everyone’s getting married nowadays like the world is ending or something. But I don’t mind them much.”

Sehun hums, and takes another step. Jongin can reach and pull him in by his shirt if he wants to. He holds his breath unwittingly, watching the way Sehun’s eyes fall on his lips, follows the movement of his tongue darting out to lick them. Jongin can almost feel Sehun’s heat, their chests almost touching, both of them now breathing in the same air.

“I don’t think I would mind going to a lot of weddings,” Sehun says, his eyes meeting Jongin’s, “if it means seeing you more in a suit.”

Sehun’s hand comes up to rest on Jongin’s shoulder, and then slides down his arm, his eyes following the movement of Jongin’s adam’s apple when he swallows. Sehun leans in, their breath mingling, slow in a way that it’s almost torturing. Jongin places his hands on Sehun’s waist, their noses touching and lips only inches apart, and Jongin has never wanted to kiss somebody so much in his life.

“Or without it, for that matter,” Sehun says, a hair’s breadth above a whisper. “Either way, I wouldn’t mind that much.”

Jongin smiles crookedly before he leans in to kiss Sehun, capturing his bottom lip between both of his own. Sehun hums when he opens his mouth, his tongue darting out to part his lips and savour his mouth. Sehun tastes like champagne and some fruity bubblegum, but it’s his scent that overpowers him, a delicate, sweet fragrance mixed with an earthy smell. He moans when Sehun’s tongue drags over his lip, and then laps at his own before tugging at it with his teeth. Jongin pulls lightly at his hair, his other hand sliding down his back to rest over his backside, and brings him even closer, their chests flushed together.

By the time they’ve stumbled into the bed, Jongin has managed to lose his jacket and shirt, Sehun’s own shirt hanging loosely from his shoulders. Jongin’s pushes it away, his mouth placing his hands where they trace Sehun’s shoulders. He sucks on the skin of his collarbones, leaving rose marks over the pale milky skin, and Sehun moans, tugs at his hair with enough force to make him lift his head. Their lips meet again, tongues licking into the other’s mouth, Sehun’s nimble fingers finding Jongin’s zipper, and sliding down his pants along with his underwear. Sehun’s long fingers stroke his length, drawing out a groan that Sehun swallows, his mouth hot on his.

Jongin bites Sehun’s bottom lip, a whine escaping past his lips, before he pushes him down on the bed, his hands on his shoulders. Sehun looks up at him, his gaze dark and heady, and it makes Jongin all the more dizzy. Sehun’s pale chest rises and falls, his open mouth panting, and Jongin leans down to capture it once again, tugging at Sehun’s tongue when it darts out to meet his, just like he had done before. Jongin’s mouth trails down his neck, biting and sucking into the flesh, breathing over the mark until Sehun is making little whimpers that make Jongin’s cock twitch. He trails down kisses along Sehun’s chiseled chest, toned muscles forming valleys that Jongin’s tongue explores.

Jongin sits on his hunches when he reaches Sehun’s navel, unzipping his pants and pulling them down in one movement. He feels Sehun’s eyes boring holes into him, and when he meets his gaze, there’s something undecipherable in the way Sehun looks at him that makes his stomach flip. He finds Sehun’s mouth again, kissing slowly and deep, as though they had all the time in the world.

“This is the best wedding I’ve gone to,” Sehun says, breathless.

Jongin chuckles, planting one last open-mouthed kiss on Sehun’s lips before moving down between his legs.

“Yup, definitely the best,” Sehun laughs before his head falls back, his words swallowed by a moan.

 

   
Jongin’s eyes flutter open when the bed dips beside him. The soft morning light falls on his eyes, and he has to blink several times before his bleary eyes register the space around him. Sehun is standing next to the bed, scrolling through his phone, and everything that happened the night before flashes in Jongin’s mind. He swallows, pulling the bedsheets over his body, suddenly feeling oddly self-conscious. Sehun pockets his phone, and a smile curls at the corner of his mouth when he looks at Jongin.  
  
“Are you feeling weird now after I saw you butt naked last night?”  
  
“I’m not!” Jongin says, his voice a bit husky with sleep. “I was just a little cold.”  
  
Sehun snorts, the gesture contorting his features. Jongin shouldn’t find it adorable, not at all.   
  
“Are you always this eloquent?” Sehun teases him, “or is it only in the morning?”  
  
“No,” Jongin deadpans, or tries to because it’s hard to keep a straight face with Sehun’s eyes on him. He stretches his arms over his head, letting the covers slide down his body. “It’s just too early.”  
  
Sehun bites his lip, his expression unreadable. Jongin has to bite back a chuckle, but he smirks all the same.  
  
“I’m not much of a morning person,” Jongin drawls. “I don’t like getting out of bed most of the time.”  
  
“I figured you were a lazy ass when you walked in late with a bedhead to the church yesterday.”  
  
Jongin scowls, and Sehun’s bemused grin is back on his face. “I’m not lazy, I’m just not a morning person.”  
  
Sehun chuckles, and goes to sit on the bed next to Jongin. “Isn’t that the same?”  
  
“It’s not,” Jongin says. “People who like getting up early are weird.”  
  
“Why is that weird?” Sehun laughs. “People who can function in the morning and aren’t late to their brother’s wedding are weird to you?”  
  
“Yes, they scare me.” Jongin shakes his head. “I don’t know how they do it, but they can’t be normal.”  
  
Sehun laughs, and Jongin notices with certain delight that he doesn’t cover his mouth this time. There’s a gap between his teeth, and Jongin thinks it’s adorable. “You’re ridiculous,” Sehun says. He pauses after his laughter has died down, and regards Jongin pensively. Jongin feels like fidgeting under his stare, but keeps his hands on his lap. Sehun chews on his lower lip. “Do you want to stay in bed now?”  
  
His voice has that same low cadence that had made Jongin’s stomach do somersaults the night before, and it was proving to have the same effect at the moment. Jongin hums, his eyes falling on Sehun’s lips when he licks them.  
  
“I wouldn’t mind staying up in bed a little longer,” Jongin says, his own voice matching Sehun’s in volume.  
  
Sehun leans in first, capturing Jongin’s bottom lip.  Jongin presses forward, his hand on Sehun’s neck as he kisses him slow, almost lazy, but hungry all the same. Sehun hands settle on his hips, his thumb drawing circles on his skin. Jongin feels like he could kiss Sehun like this all day, both of them under the covers, their legs tangling and their hands rediscovering each other. And Jongin’s had a few one-night stands in his life, but he’s never felt like staying afterwards. The thought only bothers him fleetingly until Sehun bites on his lower lip before sucking on it, and any coherent thought leaves him along with the moan that escapes his mouth.  
  
Just when Jongin’s about to try and coax Sehun to go back to bed, Sehun hums, and drops a few short, chaste kisses before pulling away.   
  
“I can’t stay in bed, though.” Sehun sighs, and gets up from the bed. “I have a flight to catch.”  
  
He walks to the chair on the corner of the room, zipping a brown handbag sitting on the chair, its leather squeaking in the now quiet room.  
  
“Where?”   
  
“Back to China,” Sehun says, putting on the coat laid over the arm chair, and smiles when he turns back to Jongin. “Gotta get back to work and all that.”  
  
“Oh,” is all Jongin can say. He tries very hard not to think about the awful feeling coiling in his chest, something akin to disappointment.  _People always leave_ , he thinks. He should know it well by now. He licks his lips, and tries to mask his tone when he speaks next, “Well, good luck. Have a safe trip.”  
  
Sehun’s grin widens just the tiniest bit. “Thanks,” he says. “I had a lot of fun here.”  
  
Sehun picks up his handbag and walks to the door. When he opens it, he turns to Jongin, as if on an afterthought, and gives him a look that Jongin can’t quite read. Jongin thinks about stopping him, asking him to stay a little longer, or even ask for his number. But then he remembers Kyungsoo’s words clearly,  _There’s no use in staying together if we’re so many miles apart._  Sehun looks like he’s about to say something, and Jongin counts a couple of seconds by the beat of his heart. But then Sehun steps outside, and the moment is gone when the door closes behind him.   
  
  
  
  
The invitations arrive in the morning in snow-white envelopes, Jongin, Baekhyun’s and Chanyeol’s names written in pristine cursive letters on the back. The invites are of a smooth, eggshell-colored paper, a golden lace wrapped near the top. But what draws the eyes is always the usual, the names in the middle of the invitation, those of a Kim Jongdae and Park Sunyoung.  
  
Baekhyun whistles when he gets his from the envelope. “Fancy.”   
  
“Shut up,” Jongdae grumbles, throwing a crumpled napkin at him. “Some of us actually like nice things.”  
  
They’re sitting in their small table in the kitchen, empty plates of breakfast scattered around lukewarm coffee mugs.   
  
The house had been left to Chanyeol by his grandmother after she passed away when he was on his last year of college, and had invited them all to live with him after they graduated.  _The house is too big for me anyway_ , Chanyeol had said then. Jongin knows now it’s because Chanyeol wouldn’t want to be alone in the old house, with its doors that screech and wooden floors that creak in the middle of the night.   
  
They often joke about the house collapsing over their heads one day, but Jongin loves its antique look, and the feeling of being suspended in time when he steps inside, with its old-fashioned furniture and ancient trinkets Chanyeol had wanted to keep because they reminded him of his grandmother.  
  
“I do like nice things, but this is too fancy for Kim I-walk-around-the-house-with-holes-in-my-boxers Jongdae.”  
  
“Were you trying to peek a glance?” Jongdae winks, and Baekhyun gags into his coffee. “And Sunyoung liked the design,” Jongdae explains, his face half hidden by his mug. He makes an indecipherable sound before drinking that the three of them have to strain to catch.  
  
“What was that?” Chanyeol asks, a hand behind his ear. “You chose them?”  
  
“How did you not hear that with those big ears you have?” Jongin mutters.  
  
“Oh he lives!” Baekhyun says, and laughs when Jongin tries to pinch his side. “And bites!”  
  
“You’re cuter when you’re asleep, Jonginnie,” Chanyeol says. “And my ears are cute, thank you very much.”  
  
“You’re all going to get uninvited from the wedding,” Jongdae warns. “I don’t want you being noisy and telling embarrassing stories to Sunyoung’s family.”  
  
“Oh you wouldn’t,” Chanyeol tuts. “Sunyoung loves us too much.”  
  
“I knew Sunyoung had to have a flaw somewhere,” Jongdae sighs.  
  
“They’re very cute,” Baekhyun says, putting down his invitation to pinch Jongdae’s cheek. Chanyeol sniggers behind his mug.  
  
“Cut it out!” Jongdae yells, batting away Baekhyun’s hand.  
  
Jongin watches them with amusement, his chin in his hand, still in a half-asleep state, his hair resembling a bird’s nest. He brings his mug to his lips, his nose wrinkling slightly at the taste. In his 26 years on this earth he still couldn’t get used to the bitter taste, which he tried to placate with tons of sugar and cream. Baekhyun would always gag at the tooth-rotting taste whenever he stole a sip, but it was the only way it was tolerable for Jongin. He just needed to get his caffeine fix to function in the morning and be part of the world of the living.  
  
“By the way,” Jongdae says suddenly, “Junmyeon told us to invite Sehun.”  
  
Jongin almost chokes on the coffee he was about to drink. It feels like his heart stopped beating for a moment.   
  
“Who?” Baekhyun asks.  
  
“The guy Jongin hooked up with last year at Minseok-hyung’s wedding,” Chanyeol explains. “We talked to him for a bit, remember?”  
  
Jongin fixes him a glare that Chanyeol brushes off with a playful smile. “So what if he comes,” Jongin says. He shrugs, and then picks up his phone. He still catches the knowing looks Chanyeol and Jongdae exchange with each other. Next to him, Baekhyun laughs, pushing at his arm.   
  
“That tall guy with a resting bitch face, right?” Baekhyun asks. “He was really hot. Are you gonna get that piece of ass again, Jonginnie?”  
  
Jongin groans, rubbing his hand over his face to hide his blush. “I’m ignoring you,” he says. “He probably won’t even come.”  
  
Jongin drinks from his coffee, now more cold than warm, trying to ignore the way his chest flutters at the prospect of seeing Sehun again.   
  
“Oh, and,” Jongdae says abruptly, remembering something, “Sunyoung invited Kyungsoo.”  
  
Jongin feels his stomach sink. “Oh,” he says dumbly. He licks his lips. They’re chapped and his mouth is so dry. His coffee had too much sugar. “That’s okay, I guess. I don’t mind. They were really good friends in college, right?”  
  
There’s concern etched on Jongdae’s face. His eyebrows are tilted  in that angle Baekhyun sometimes makes fun of, but right now he’s watching Jongin carefully, just like Chanyeol.  
  
“If you don’t want him to go I can talk to Sunyoung—”  
  
“I said I didn’t mind,” Jongin retorts. He stands with his cup and leaves it in the sink. “I’m going for a run before I head to the studio.”  
  
He ignores Jongdae’s calling after him when he slips on his shoes, puts on his earbuds and closes the front door behind him.  
  
  
  
  
Jongdae is waiting for him when he comes back from his run. He’s sitting on the doorsteps, in his faded shirt and loose cotton pants he wears to sleep. He looks up at Jongin warily. Jongin considers walking past him or just sitting down, but Jongdae seems to read it on his face.  
  
“Baekhyun is mopping the floor while listening to Girls’ Generation,” Jongdae says. “You know you don’t want to go in right now.”  
  
Jongin sighs, and sits next to him. “I don’t want to hear what you’re going to tell me either.”  
  
“You don’t, but you have to listen to me because I’m your hyung,” Jongdae says with a smirk, and Jongin sulks.  
  
“You only remember you’re my hyung when you need to take advantage of it,” Jongin says. “You should be removed of your hyung rights.”  
  
“I’m always your hyung, not only when I need it,”  Jongdae tells him, and pats Jongin’s back. “And I’m serious when I say that if you don’t want to see Kyungsoo I can talk to Sunyoung. You know she has a soft spot for you—god knows why—so she wouldn’t mind.”  
  
There’s softness in the curl of Jongdae’s lips. Jongin’s heart brims with fondness.  
  
When Jongin was a kid, he’d always clung to his brothers and followed them everywhere. He remembers his older brothers taking him to the park, teaching how to ride the bike he got for his birthday, and helping him up when he fell.   
  
And Jongdae had always been there, running to him first when he was on the ground, calling for his brothers. He’d burst into frustrated tears of his own when Jongin wouldn’t stop crying.   
  
Jongdae had always been protective of him, offering reassurance in his own way. Right now his hand on Jongin’s back is a silent comfort he hadn’t known he needed.  
  
“No, it’s okay, hyung,” Jongin says. He tries to keep his voice light even though his heart feels heavy. “It wouldn’t be fair if Sunyoung didn’t see her friend on her wedding day because of me.”  
  
Jongdae sighs. “You’re right.” He clasps his shoulder, offering him a soft smile. “You’ve always been very mature, Jonginnie.”  
  
Jongin’s smile is crooked, embarrassed. He shrugs gingerly. “I can’t say I don’t mind seeing him, but I have to suck it up, right?”   
  
Jongin would very much like not to see Kyungsoo. It’s not that he harbors hard feelings against him, but he wouldn’t know what to say. The last words they’d exchanged were on the phone, and Jongin had been crying while Kyungsoo was miles away, happy and rediscovering love in the hands of someone else. Someone who wasn’t Jongin anymore.   
  
“We all have exes we don’t want to see,” Jongdae says. He laughs as though he remembered something. “And I think you’ll do much better off than Chanyeol trying to hide behind a potted plant when he saw his ex.”  
  
Jongin chuckles. “Yeah,” he says. “It won’t be so bad.”  
  
  
  
  
The first time Jongin meets Kyungsoo, he’s eighteen and lost. He’s three weeks into his first semester in K-Arts, and its hallways and classrooms are still a maze to him.   
  
Kyungsoo was sitting cross-legged on a bench, head bent over a book on his legs, his glasses sitting low on his nose. Jongin had hesitated before asking him about his Art History lecture, because it was a building he hadn’t been into before. The guy had sighed, and his round, dark eyes had looked up wearily up at him before pointing Jongin in the right direction. His voice was as soft as cotton over skin, but his tone was sharp, and Jongin had wasted no time in running toward the right building to make it in time for his lecture.  
  
He’d spent the rest of the day ranting to Chanyeol about the rude guy he’d met at the quad. By the time weekend arrived Jongin had forgotten all about him—until he saw him sitting next to Baekhyun in the booth at the bar Chanyeol and Jongdae had dragged Jongin to.   
  
The guy had blinked owlishly up at him, clearly recognising him. “It’s you,” he’d said in that soothing voice when Jongin had sat down on the other side of him.   
  
“It’s me,” Jongin had said in turn. “I’m sorry I interrupted your reading the other day.” He’d meant it to sound sarcastic, but the guy’s big eyes made it impossible for his tone to be any other than shy.   
  
“It’s okay.” The guy smiled, and Jongin noted the way his lips arched to form a heart. “I’m Kyungsoo, by the way.”  
  
“Kim Jongin.” His voice was raspy. He cleared his throat sheepishly, feeling heat pool in his cheeks. “You can just call me Jongin.”  
  
Kyungsoo grinned even wider, amused, and Jongin wondered if he could hear his heart suddenly pounding in his chest.  
  
They’d spent the whole night talking since Kyungsoo had taken the same music classes the year before Jongin was currently suffering through, ignoring Jongdae and Chanyeol wiggling their eyebrows behind Kyungsoo. From then it turned to messages in LINE, and then dates to the movies and lunches everyday after class. By the start of winter, he would kiss Kyungsoo in corners of the library, and swallow his giggles under sheets at night in Kyungsoo’s room. Holding his hand became as much of a part of his life as dance practice was, and soon enough, Jongin was planning on moving into Kyungsoo’s apartment after graduation.   
  
He’d never been the kind of person to map out his life, not even when he was studying for his college entrance exams and he knew that all he wanted was to dance. But there was something about the steady beat of Kyungsoo’s heart against his ear at night that made him feel like he would be at home wherever Kyungsoo was.   
  
That was, until a year before his graduation day came, all of his plans and dreams for the future went crashing down when Kyungsoo told him he was moving to New York for grad school.   
  
“I’m really sorry,” Kyungsoo had said. His voice was still soothing, even when it was shaky and unsteady. “I didn’t know I would get in, but it’s always been my dream and…”  
  
“It’s okay,” Jongin had said. “I can live with you there once I graduate and find a job and…” He trailed off once he noticed Kyungsoo gnawing on his bottom lip. He always did it when there was something else he wasn’t telling him. For all his bluntness, Kyungsoo was always careful with him. “What is it?”  
  
“Jongin,” he said with a quivering breath. “I think we should break up.”  
  
The words were like a blow to his chest, knocking all the air out of his lungs. “What?” His hands were trembling when they came up to hold Kyungsoo’s hands. Kyungsoo shook his head silently and pulled away. It felt like a fist squeezing his heart. “B-But we’d planned on living together and—”  
  
“You have your whole family and friends here,” Kyungsoo said, his voice firmer as though he’d rehearsed the words in his head. “You can’t leave your life here for me. You wouldn’t be happy, and I wouldn’t forgive myself.”   
  
Jongin wanted to tell him that he could be happy wherever Kyungsoo was, but the words got caught in his throat.   
  
Kyungsoo chewed on his lower lip for a second. He wasn’t finished. “And I think… there’s no use in staying together if we’re so many miles apart.”   
  
Jongin’s heart sunk in his chest like a rock thrown on water. He thought about arguing, maybe even pleading, but he knew Kyungsoo like the lines on his hand, and he knew he wouldn’t change his mind. He swallowed around the lump in his throat, so thick it suffocated him.  
  
“I see.” His voice sounded so far away to his own ears. A couple of stray tears fell down his cheek, and his hand snapped up to wipe them. “You’ve always been so practical. It doesn’t surprise me.”  
  
Kyungsoo’s smile was a ghost of the ones he used to reserve for Jongin. Jongin felt weak, so he let Kyungsoo hold him one last time. His hand fell from where it rested on Kyungsoo’s waist to slip into his coat pocket, his fingers closing tightly over a silver engagement ring.  
  
He was still clutching the ring afterwards, when he was all alone in his room crying into his pillow long after Kyungsoo was gone—the band digging into his palm a reminder of dreams turned to smoke between his fingers.  
  
That had been three years ago.   
  
Now Jongin knows better than to expect people to stay.  
  
  
  
  
Jongdae and Sungyoung marry on the last day of May, when the flowers have blossomed and the sun is bright and warm in a clear blue sky.   
  
All of their family and friends are gathered at the church to see them say their vows, and when the pastor declares them husband and wife, they kiss tenderly and greet the audience with smiles that match the spring sun. Chanyeol smiles proudly next to Jongdae, and scoops in a teary Soojung, Sunyoung’s bridesmaid, into a hug.  
  
After the couple exits the church, the rest follows to see them off. Junmyeon is once again unabashedly tearing up, but his smile is as bright as his eyes.  
  
“Hyung,” Jongin reproaches fondly, wiping his brother’s tears with the sleeve of his suit. “You’re embarrassing.”  
  
“Ah I’m sorry, Jonginnie,” he says. They start walking towards the exit, following the throng people gathered to leave. “You know I get too emotional at weddings.”  
  
Jongin shakes his head, but smiles warmly as he wraps an arm around him. “You’re going to cry more than your bride at your wedding. I can see it already.”  
  
Junmyeon chuckles. “Look who’s talking, you’re a crybaby, too! You used to cry when we took Monggu to the vet.”  
  
“Jongin cries at movies about dogs,” Baekhyun says, appearing beside Junmyeon. “He cried for an hour after we watched Hachiko.”  
  
Taeyeon is next to him. She smiles sweetly at Jongin and Junmyeon as Jongin bickers with Baekhyun.  
  
Outside the church, Jongin looks around trying to find one face among the crowd he hadn’t seen inside the church. And there it was, standing at the top of the steps, a smile on his face as Luhan and Minseok talk to him. His hair is more of a lighter shade of brown, styled off his forehead, but everything else about him is just as Jongin remembers. He’s wearing a light grey suit, a little black tie to match.   
  
Jongin wonders if he should go to them, hesitating on whether Sehun would even remember him at all. Chanyeol comes up next to him, his hand on Jongin’s back to draw his attention.  
  
“Junmyeon’s going to take us to the reception in his car,” he tells him, his thumb pointing over his shoulder.  
  
Chanyeol nods after Jongin assures he’ll be right there, and walks ahead to the cars lining the street. When Jongin looks back to the top of the stairs, Sehun is gone.  
  
Reception is held at a hotel, but guests linger on the garden outdoors waiting for dinner to be served. Waiters go around the crowd, trays full of champagne and other elegant snacks. After they’ve caught up with people they hadn’t seen since college, Jongin picks one flute of champagne as he walks with Chanyeol and Baekhyun along the garden.  
  
“So we’re losing everyone,” Chanyeol says, taking a sip from his champagne. “Minseok and Jongdae got married. Who’s next?”  
  
“Why do you say it like they died?” Baekhyun asks. “They just got married, they’re still alive, idiot.” He pats Chanyeol’s arm. “You’ll find love one day, too.”  
  
“Easy for you to say,” Jongin says, playful. “You’re almost married already.”  
  
Baekhyun cackles, loud enough to draw looks from people around them. “What are you talking about?” He shakes his head lightly. “We don’t even live together yet.”  
  
“We barely even see you at the house anymore,” Jongin continues, and dodges Baekhyun’s punch to his side. “You’re slowly moving out of the house and you haven’t even told us!”  
  
“I’m going to stay in more if you guys miss me so much,” Baekhyun says, wiggling his eyebrows at them. “We can watch those crappy action movies Chanyeol likes.”  
  
“You still watch them!” Chanyeol protests. “You watched all of the Fast and Furious movies with us so shut up.”  
  
“Because you like them.” Baekhyun flutters his eyelashes at him. Chanyeol’s ears turn red, and he shoves Baekhyun away. “Ok, but I promise to spend more time with you guys.”  
  
Baekhyun wraps his arms around them both, and Jongin and Chanyeol whine, writhing to get away when Baekhyun starts tickling their sides. Baekhyun puckers his lips and tries to kiss Jongin, his arms locked around his middle, and Jongin shoves him, laughing breathlessly. Baekhyun might be small, but he’s surprisingly strong. Jongin sees Chanyeol give them an odd look, and looks away when he catches Jongin’s eye.   
  
“Well, I’m gonna go find Taeyeon,” he says, his tone apologetic. “I told her I would meet her friends.”   
  
“That’s okay,” Jongin says. “See you later, then.”  
  
“Remember to use protection, both of you!” Baekhyun shouts. Jongin blushes beet-red, ignoring the looks people give them.  
  
“Shut up and go before I kill you!” Chanyeol threatens, and Baekhyun winks, waving them goodbye.  
  
They watch as Taeyeon beams at him when Baekhyun walks up to her. Baekhyun hugs her from behind, kissing her cheek, Taeyeon laughing abashedly for the unexpected show of affection in front of the people she’s talking to. Jongin can’t help but smile fondly at how happy Baekhyun looks.  
  
“I have a feeling we’ll be going to  _their_  wedding soon,” Jongin says. Chanyeol hums, ruminative.  
  
“Soon we’ll just be me and you, Jonginnie,” Chanyeol jokes, hugging Jongin one-armed, poking his cheek with a finger from his hand holding a flute of champagne. “We’ll grow old together as bachelors who hate marriage and get laid all the time.”  
  
“Didn’t you want to get married, too?” Jongin asks, turning to Chanyeol. “You were always talking about it, remember? _I’m gonna move here when I get married. I’m gonna do this when I get—_ ”  
  
“Yeah, that was a long time ago,” his friend cuts him off, his face suddenly serious. Chanyeol lets go of him and shrugs, looking down at his shoe kicking a pebble on the ground. “People change, Jonginnie. Not everyone wants what they want forever, right?”  
  
“Really?” Jongin asks, his brows knitting in worry. “Because you seemed to really look forward to it.”  
  
Chanyeol looks up, and Jongin follows his gaze. Baekhyun has his arm around Taeyeon’s waist, looking for all the world like the happiest man on earth while watching her speak. It hits Jongin like a wall of bricks. Chanyeol had told him about his crush on Baekhyun in college, but after he hadn’t mentioned ever since Jongin had thought Chanyeol had gotten over it over time. But all of his longing stares, his evasiveness when Baekhyun brought up Taeyeon, his moping around the house as of late—Jongin had realized that hadn’t been the case after all.  
  
“I thought you’d gotten over it,” Jongin says in a quiet voice. “But you’ve been looking really sad lately.”  
  
Chanyeol lets out a sound between a sigh and a groan, and turns to take a few steps in the opposite direction.  
  
“I thought I had, too,” Chanyeol says, an edge of frustration in his voice. “But then all this talk about marriage started, and Baekhyun is barely at the house anymore and I just...”   
  
“It’s okay,” Jongin assures him, his hand coming to rest on his arm. “I get it.” He pauses. “I just wonder why you never told him.”  
  
“I don’t think he feels that way about me.” His lips twitch in a small smile, a mirthless little thing. “And you know how he is, he would feel so guilty about it, and I don’t want anything to change between us.”  
  
Jongin thinks about words he kept to himself a long time ago as well. Words that sometimes burn the box where he’d locked them up inside of him.   
  
“Maybe you should tell him,” Jongin says. “You never know—”   
  
“I don’t want to talk about it, Jonginnie,” Chanyeol says, his voice low and defeated. “It’s just how it is, you know. There’s nothing to do about it.”  
  
He shrugs, and gives Jongin a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. Jongin doesn’t think he has ever seen him like this. Chanyeol has always been the optimistic one, the one who always cheers Jongin up when his body aches too much after practice. He’d been the one there with Jongin when Kyungsoo left for New York, and all Jongin had were pieces of who he once was.   
  
He feels useless now, with no words to offer his best friend. But he does as asked, and lets it go, as well as his hand on Chanyeol’s arm.   
  
“Yeah, I’m sorry,” Jongin says, looking down. “I’m gonna go grab us some drinks, alright?”   
  
Chanyeol nods, still turned away from him, and Jongin squeezes his arm one more time before going. Jongin finds a snack table, and considers taking some food to Chanyeol because he’s always felt a little better when he’s munching on something.  
  
“Hey,” a voice says from behind him, “long time no see.”  
  
Jongin feels like his heart stopped beating when he turns to see Sehun standing there. There’s an odd flutter in his stomach at the sight of Sehun smiling softly, almost shyly, at him, and Jongin’s heart remembers to go back to beating full force.   
  
“Remember me?” Sehun asks, his tone playful. “I’m kind of hard to forget, but it’s been a year after all.”  
  
“Of course I remember you,” Jongin laughs. His heart is featherlight in his chest. “How have you been?”  
  
“I’ve been great.” Sehun tucks his hands in his pockets as he takes a step towards Jongin. “It’s nice to see you,” he adds in an undertone. “And your brothers. Junmyeon-hyung looked really happy.”  
  
“He got emotional over the wedding,” Jongin says. He grins at Sehun’s chuckle. “But don’t tell him I told you that.”  
  
“Your secret’s safe with me,” Sehun says, a hand on his chest. “But your brother’s wedding was beautiful so I don’t blame him.”  
  
“Are you a fan of weddings now?” Jongin teases. “I remember someone telling me they didn’t go to weddings voluntarily.”  
  
A corner of Sehun’s mouth curves mysteriously. “Maybe I do.”   
  
Then, a man as tall as Sehun walks up to him, and whatever Jongin had wanted to say is lost when Sehun turns to the newcomer and a smile as bright as a spring day breaks into his face. Jongin can’t take his eyes off of the hand that comes up to rest on Sehun’s waist or the way the stranger’s eyes are sweet as honey on Sehun.  
  
“There you are!” the stranger says. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere!”  
  
“I was just saying hi to some friends,” Sehun explains, voice casual. His hand curls into the stranger’s side when he turns to Jongin. “Jongin, this is Changmin. My fiancé.”  
  
Jongin blinks for a couple of seconds, stunned into silence. Sehun is looking at him expectantly, so he composes himself. “Oh, that—that’s great,” Jongin sputters, his smile taut as he bows jerkily to Changmin. “Nice to meet you.”   
  
“You, too,” Changmin says, and Jongin hates that he has a charming smile. “Sehun has told me about you and your brothers.”  
  
Jongin’s eyes widen, his eyebrows lifting in surprise. “Really?” He looks to Sehun, whose gaze is on his leather shoes. His face is unreadable when he lifts his eyes, and Jongin doesn’t look away when he says,“I hope they were only good things.”  
  
Sehun’s grin is timid. “Of course,” he says. “Your brother’s wedding was the best one I’ve attended, remember?”  
  
A moment flashes in his mind: Sehun in his hotel room, his hair ruffled, and his features softer in the dim glow of a lamp. If Jongin’s heart had been weightless moments ago, now it’s made of lead, weighting tones inside of him. “Right,” he says. “It was a really nice wedding.”  
  
“You make it sound like you had great time. I’m kind of jealous.” Changmin laughs. His hand grasps Jongin’s shoulder, taking him by surprise. “I hope you can come to the wedding. I know our Sehunnie here would love to see you there.”  
  
Sehun chuckles, sheepishly. “We haven’t even decided on a date yet.”  
  
“Sure,” Jongin says. His jaw hurts, but his smile doesn’t falter. “I will try my best to go.”  
  
“That’s good,” Changmin says, and then he turns to Sehun. “We should go back inside. It was nice to meet you, Jongin-ssi.”  
  
Sehun looks briefly at him over his shoulder as they leave.   
  
  
  
Jongin sits alone in a table, watching as Chanyeol and Jongdae embarrass themselves on the dance floor. He’d come back to Chanyeol after talking to Sehun and his fiancé, and Chanyeol hadn’t needed to ask Jongin about it for him to understand why Jongin looked like someone had stepped on his puppies. “I saw them a few minutes ago talking to Junmyeon,” he’d said. He’d patted his back and offered a sympathetic smile, and hadn’t mentioned it again. Jongin was infinitely thankful.  
  
Now Jongin is drinking his third glass of champagne and is considering to go get another one, when he spots Kyungsoo talking to Soojung and Sunyoung. He’s laughing at whatever Sunyoung is saying, and Jongin swallows thickly when he notices his lips still form a heart when he smiles. Jongin had successfully avoided running into him all night, but the dread of it still sat low in his stomach.   
  
He leaves his drink on the table to go get another one, just as an excuse to get away from Kyungsoo. He’s waiting for the bartender to hand him his drink when there’s a light tap on his shoulder, and his heart is already pounding against his ribcage before he turns to find Kyungsoo in front of him.   
  
“Hi, Jongin,” he says. His smile is shy, almost imperceptible on his plush lips. “I haven’t been able to catch you alone tonight. How have you been?”  
  
Jongin feels lightheaded, but it has nothing to do with the alcohol. “I’ve been good,” he says. He clears his throat. His mouth feels cottony. “What about you?”  
  
Kyungsoo’s lips pull lopsidedly. Jongin gets a flashback of him wanting to kiss that smile, once upon a time. He doesn't, now. “I’ve been great,” Kyungsoo says. “I came back to Seoul a few months ago and I’m working for JYP now.” He pauses. “Jongdae told me you were teaching at Taemin’s studio now?”  
  
“Yeah, I am,” he answers simply. “I’m glad you’re working for a big company.”  
  
Kyungsoo’s grin is as soft as his voice. “Thank you.” There’s a pause, this time more weighted. “I’d wanted to call you so we could maybe hang out or something, but… I didn’t know if you would want to see me.”  
  
Jongin thinks about lying. But he remembers Chanyeol, thinking about words he should’ve told Baekhyun long ago, and his own words, lost in his tongue when Kyungsoo drew the line for them. Words he should’ve used to ask Sehun for his number before he left.  
  
“I didn’t,” Jongin admits. “I would’ve said no.”  
  
Kyungsoo’s mouth pulls down in a frown. “I understand,” he says quietly. “I understand if you hate me, really I do.”  
  
“I don’t hate you,” Jongin says. He notes, with certain relief, that it’s true. “But I wouldn’t have known what to say. After all the last time we spoke was when…” A phone call late at night, Jongin drunk, and Kyungsoo saying,  _I’m seeing someone_. Jongin swallows. “When I called you and you told me about…”  
  
“Kyuhyun.” Kyungsoo ducks his head. “Right. He couldn’t come today. He had to stay at the office.” He pauses, and chuckles dryly. “It would’ve been more awkward, maybe.”  
  
Jongin nods. He doesn’t know what else to say. “Maybe.”  
  
Kyungsoo’s eyes search his face. “I thought you did hate me,” he says. “I would’ve understood if you did.”  
  
Words come unbidden to Jongin like water from a faucet. He doesn’t think about stopping them. “I did for a while.” There’s an edge to his voice, but he doesn’t,  _can’t_ , mask it. “Hell, Kyungsoo, we hadn’t been broken up for two months and you were already dating someone. We dated for years, and you just…” Jongin heaves a deep breath. “So yes, of course I hated you. But I don’t now.”  
  
Kyungsoo’s adam's apple bobs. “I’m sorry,” he says softly. “I never wanted to hurt you. You meant a lot to me.”  
  
Those are words Jongin had waited too long to hear, but now that they’re here, he doesn’t feel anything—not gratification or grief. He does feel lighter, as though a big weight had been taken from his shoulders.  
  
“You meant a lot to me, too,” Jongin says. His smile is small, but sincere. “And I’m glad you’re doing well.”  
  
Kyungsoo’s grin makes his eyes crinkle. “You, too.”  
 

  

Junmyeon finds Jongin an hour later sitting in a chair on a hallway away from most of the wedding guests. Jongin’s sipping slowly on a whisky, his nose wrinkling and mouth twisting at the burning sensation in his throat. Any other day he would find the taste gross, but Jongin would very much like to black out until next week. He turns in surprise when he hears a chuckle near him, his older brother looking down at him with amusement.   
  
“Are you trying to get drunk?” Junmyeon asks, taking the glass from his hand. Jongin doesn’t even protest. “What for?”  
  
“Nothing,” Jongin mumbles. “I was just feeling like it.”  
  
“Were you?” Junmyeon asks, one eyebrow raised. “I haven’t seen you  _wanting_  to get so drunk since—well, you know.”   
  
Jongin hums, more of a grumble than a sound of agreement. “It just wasn’t a good day.”  
  
Junmyeon shuffles his feet. Jongin can hear his words before he speaks. “I saw you talking to Kyungsoo,” he says gently. “Are you okay?”  
  
His hand is a comforting weight on Jongin’s shoulder. “Yeah, I am.” He sighs, but he finds that it’s true. “I think it was good talking to him about everything that happened between us. I think I needed… to get it off my chest, I guess.”  
  
“That’s good, Jonginnie.” His brother smiles reassuringly. “But why are you here all alone trying to get drunk?”  
  
“I just needed some time alone,” he says. “And I was just wondering...” Jongin watches his hands trapped between his legs. “Why is it that everyone is getting married except me?”  
  
“But you hate marriage,” Junmyeon laughs. “You’ve always told everyone you would never get married.” He pauses, ruminative, when Jongin doesn’t respond. “What made you change your mind?”  
  
“I don’t know, it’s just… Everyone’s been getting engaged or married, and I’m just here.”  
  
“Well, maybe it’s because you haven’t met the right person yet,” Junmyeon assures him. “You’ll know you want to marry them when you meet them.”  
  
It’s such a trademark Junmyeon response. Any other moment Jongin would follow it up with a joke, but now he sulks, crossing his arms loosely over his chest.  
  
“Yeah, but what if I’ve met the right person already,” Jongin says. “And it’s me who lets them go every single time.”  
  
“Jonginnie,” Junmyeon says sympathetically, squeezing his shoulder. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’ll meet the right person, you’ll see.” He winks, and then he’s tugging at his arm to make him stand up from the chair. “Let’s go back to the party. Maybe you’ll meet someone there.”  
  
“Thanks, hyung,” he says, stepping back. “But I think I’ll just go back to the hotel and call it a night.”   
  
He smiles apologetically, but his brother, as always, seems understanding.  
  
“Alright, Jonginnie.” Junmyeon pats his arm. “See you tomorrow, then.”  
  
Jongin watches him go, and then turns to head in the opposite direction. He hears footsteps behind him, and just when he’s about to look over his shoulder, a hand on his arm stop him on his tracks. Jongin’s heart jumps when he sees Sehun there, his serious, sharp features turning gentler at the sight of him.  
  
“Hey,” Sehun greets him, “I didn’t see you with your friends. I thought you’d left.”  
  
“No, I was just about to leave, actually,” Jongin says, recovering from his surprise.   
  
“Let’s take a cab together, then? I was leaving, too,” Sehun explains. He takes a few steps and gives Jongin an expectant look over his shoulder, one end of his lips curled. “Are you coming?”  
  
“Uh, what about your… your fiancé?” Jongin asks. The words taste sour in his tongue, and hopes that Sehun doesn’t notice. “Is he leaving later?”  
  
“He left an hour ago.” Sehun’s expression is suddenly guarded. He doesn’t meet his eyes. “Something came up at work and he had to leave.” Then, as quickly as it had gone, his smile is back on his face. “So, are we going?”  
  
Jongin grins, and follows after him. “Sure.”  
  
  
  
  
  
The ride is quiet at first. Jongin keeps his hands folded on his lap, his eyes on the window to his side. He steals glances at Sehun out of the corners of his eye. Sehun seems lost in thought, watching the streets flash by, lights bathing his face in different colors. A part of Jongin itches to get closer, but another part doesn’t want to know what would happen if he does.   
  
Jongin feels more than he hears Sehun shift in his seat. He turns to find Sehun’s dark eyes on him.  
  
“Your brother’s wedding was really nice,” he says. Jongin can tell it’s just to fill in the silence. “Are you guys on a pact or something?” Sehun laughs. “Why are all your brothers getting married?”  
  
Jongin chuckles. “Luhan and Minseok had been dating since forever,”  he explains. “And Jongdae had been pining for Sunyoung since we were in college, so I guess they couldn’t wait to get married.”  
  
“Junmyeon-hyung’s going to be next.” His smile makes his eyes crinkle at the corners. “I can tell. He seems like the type to want to get married.”  
  
“Yeah, he’s actually talked about it before,” Jongin says, pensive. He remembers Junmyeon’s longing looks during the weddings they’ve attended together, and wonders if his brother has had the same thoughts he’d laid on him earlier. He feels a brief pang of guilt for not realizing sooner. “He’s not seeing anyone right now, though.”  
  
Sehun hesitates for  a moment, his expression suddenly serious. “And what about you?”   
  
Jongin fully turns to him in his seat. Their shins touch, but none of them make to move. Sehun watches him from under his lashes, his eyes expectant.  
  
“What about me?”   
  
“Any plans for marriage?” Sehun’s mouth quirks in amusement. “Am I getting invited to Kim Jongin’s wedding any time soon?”  
  
Jongin’s laugh mingles with a breath. He studies his hands on his lap. “No, not right now,” he says. “My mom’s been trying to set me up with her friend’s daughters, and I can’t say no to her.” The girls had been nice, pretty girls, but hadn’t really ignited anything in him. And by the end of the night, judging by their clear, but polite dismissal, more often than not the lack of interest had been mutual. “She keeps telling me to find myself a nice girl but—”  
  
“I’m going to take a wild guess that they’re not your type,” Sehun says, bemused.   
  
Jongin shakes his head, and sighs, leaning back into the seat. “I have to ask her to stop because otherwise all of her friends will end up hating me.”  
  
“What is your type, then?” Sehun asks.   
  
There’s curiosity in his parted lips, and the way Sehun’s watching him. Jongin stares for a moment, thinking of lean muscles, soft, pink lips, and an icy gaze that could melt in seconds, half disappearing into crescent shapes.  _It’s you_ , is at the tip of his tongue, but he shakes off the words with a half-shrug.  
  
“I don’t know,” Jongin lies, averting his eyes. “I don’t think I have a type. What about you?” he asks before Sehun can question him further. “What’s your type?”  
  
Sehun’s eyebrows lift, as though taken aback. Then his face settles into that unreadable expression Jongin had grown familiar with. He guesses other people must mistake it for apathy, but Jongin knows that is just his resting face.  
  
“I like cute guys, with pretty lips and nice smiles,” Sehun says, his eyes fixed on him. Something in the way he says it makes Jongin blush. “I don’t like them too tall, maybe a bit smaller than me.”  
  
Sehun’s eyes flicker to his mouth and then back to his eyes. Suddenly, Jongin remembers with a tinge of bitterness that Changmin was almost the same height as he is.   
  
The car suddenly comes to a stop. Jongin turns to see they’re outside Sehun’s hotel, where he’s staying for the night.   
  
“Do you want to come up for a drink?” Sehun asks, nonchalant. “I don’t feel like going to bed yet.”  
  
Jongin’s heartbeat quickens. “Are you sure? Wouldn’t it be a problem—”  
  
“No,” Sehun laughs. “Why would it be? Can’t you resist me?”  
  
Jongin blushes, and doesn’t have time to reply when Sehun exits the car. Jongin stares for a moment before following after him.    
  
  
  
Sehun doesn’t stay true to his word. Jongin had hoped he didn’t.  
  
As soon as Sehun shuts the door behind them, he pushes Jongin against it, his body warm and solid trapping him there. Jongin holds his breath as Sehun’s lips hovers over his, hot breath fanning over his mouth. His hands come up to rest on Sehun’s waist. He doesn’t feel too steady on his legs at the moment.  
  
“What happened with it not being a problem?” Jongin asks, his smile crooked. “Am I the one too hard to resist?”  
  
Sehun laughs quietly. “Maybe.” There’s a glint in his eyes Jongin can see even in the darkness of his room. “You can’t resist me either.”  
  
Sehun leans in to lock their mouth together. He’s startled for a moment, as though he hadn’t been wanting to taste Sehun ever since he saw him again back at the reception. Sehun licks into his mouth, and then tugs at his tongue, making Jongin gasp. He tastes much like he remembers—a faint taste of champagne mingled with peppermint gum, and Jongin can’t get enough of it.   
  
Jongin buries his hands in Sehun’s hair, pulling lightly at the strands when Sehun’s tongue tangles with his own, his hands sliding from his back to his lower side. He squeezes Jongin’s ass through his pants, and Jongin moans, uninhibited, from the back of his throat. It seems to spur something on Sehun, because he presses against him, his leg between Jongin’s thighs as he rolls his hips, his erection rubbing against Jongin’s thigh.   
  
Jongin pants against Sehun’s mouth, feeling electricity running through his whole body at the way Sehun bites his lower lip. Sehun’s mouth moves to Jongin’s neck, sucking and nibbling at the skin, leaving rose marks on its wake.   
  
Sehun’s name leaves Jongin’s lips in an exhale. He tugs at Sehun’s hair, and he lifts his head, kissing his chin and then capturing his mouth again, tilting his head to kiss him deeper. He drops a chaste kiss before breaking away, a breathy laugh escaping his lips when Jongin makes to follow him. Jongin blushes, feeling heat pooling in his cheeks at the way Sehun’s eyes seem to bore holes into him, his gaze dark and heady, and something else there Jongin can’t quite decipher.   
  
It’s a look Jongin sees a few times again throughout the night, later, when they’ve managed to fall on Sehun’s bed, their clothes forgotten along with everything outside of that room. Sehun kisses him slow as he thrusts into him at a similar pace, making Jongin whine and sink his teeth into Sehun’s arm as he picks up a faster rhythm. Jongin cries out as he comes, his head thrown back on the pillow, Sehun biting into his jaw to muffle his own sounds of pleasure. They only rest for a couple of minutes, their hands joined in the space between them, before Jongin throws a leg over Sehun and he’s kissing him again, their open mouths licking and panting into each other.  
  
It’s dawn by the time they’ve exhausted themselves, their muscles turned to liquid, and their idle kissing and whispers about nothing and everything, becomes quiet, even breathing. Jongin watches Sehun’s sleepy face, his mouth slightly parted, his soft snoring barely audible. The gray light of dawn gives way to early morning sunlight, and Jongin knows he has to go soon.   
  
Sehun’s eyes flutter open a few minutes later, his bleary eyes taking a moment to focus on his face. Jongin’s hand goes to caress Sehun’s cheek, and grins when Sehun’s teeth catch his thumb, his lips pressing on its pad before releasing it. Sehun watches him silently, his face half buried in his pillow, his eyes brimmed with things unsaid.   
  
There are many things Jongin wants to say as well, but he knows it’s better to keep them locked up, no matter how much they burn him inside. His talk with Kyungsoo feels like a moment from a lifetime ago.  
  
After Sehun has dozed off again, Jongin gets up from the bed and picks up the trail of clothes leading to the bed. He gets dressed as quietly as possible, watching the way Sehun’s mouth twitches in his sleep, at the same time as his toes uncovered by the bedsheets. Jongin wants nothing more than to stay, maybe wake Sehun up and tease him about what his body does in his sleep, but he knows he can’t steal any more time from this stolen moment.   
  
There’s a pang on his chest when he turns on the knob and Sehun’s eyes open, their gazes locking as he opens the door. There’s a question poised in his eyes Jongin doesn’t want to acknowledge, but Sehun makes no move to stop him. So, with one last look, Jongin steps outside and closes the door behind him.  
  
  
  
  
It’s with grey clouds and sporadic spells of sunshine that mark the last days of July. Jongin had decided to do some shopping before meeting Baekhyun later, and had wandered through shops looking for what to get for his cousin’s wedding next month. The invitation had arrived on a time when Jongin didn’t want to think much about weddings at all, but there seems to be no escape. He wonders idly if he’ll ever spend a weekend without going to a wedding any time soon.  
  
“Jongin?”  
  
Jongin stops dead in his tracks when he recognizes the voice. His stomach twists when he sees Sehun standing there in the middle of the street.   
  
A smile breaks into Sehun’s face like sunshine through the clouds. “Hey! I can’t believe you’re here!”  
  
Jongin’s heart pounds in his chest. He hadn’t thought he’d see Sehun so soon, not until his wedding maybe. All the feelings surging in his chest catch him unaware.  
  
“Hey,” Jongin smiles weakly. “What are you doing here?”  
  
“I was just shopping.” Sehun holds up the two paper bags in his hand. “I need to pick a tux for the wedding.”  
  
The easy way those words slip out of his mouth brings a twinge to Jongin’s heart. His smile stays intact on his face, though, not missing a beat. “Right! Do you have something in mind?”  
  
“Yeah, actually I’ve had my eye on one for a while now.” Sehun hesitates for a moment, folding in his lips. “Do you want to come with me?”  
  
Jongin blinks a few times in confusion. “What, help you pick your tux?”   
  
“Yeah, I need a good opinion, and you looked good in your suits.” He gives Jongin a timid look. Jongin hopes his cheeks aren’t as flushed as he feels. “So please? Or you have something else to do?”  
  
There’s a dichotomy of emotions inside Jongin at the prospect of spending time with Sehun—elation makes his heart thrum, and dread crawls over his spine like bugs. He’d set his mind to move on from Sehun since he’d left him back at that hotel room a couple of months ago, and he knows any little progress he’s made will crumble at his feet just by being near him. And yet...   
  
“I  have to be in the studio in about—” Jongin checks his phone. “Two hours. Yeah, I think I have some time left until then.”  
  
“Great.” Sehun’s grin widens. “I’ll buy you coffee afterwards as thank you.”   
  
Sehun winks playfully, and loops his arm with Jongin’s to head down the street. Jongin hates that it makes his stomach flip, feeling like an elementary school boy with his first crush all over again.  
  
Sehun takes him to a tailor shop a few blocks away. He tries on several tuxes—a parade of sleek, black formal suits, as Jongin watches from a leather couch. Jongin can’t help but let his eyes wander over Sehun’s figure, where the pants and jacket hug his body nicely, showcasing his broad shoulders. He notices Sehun fidgeting with the buttons on his shirt, the clothing straining a little over his chest.  
  
“Somebody’s been going to the gym,” Jongin teases. “You’re going to take someone eye’s out with that shirt.”  
  
Sehun gives him a smug look as he turns to face Jongin. “I’ve been working out a bit. I wanted to get more fit before the wedding.” He flexes his biceps, his shirt straining over his muscles. “Does it show?”  
  
Jongin throws one of the pillows on the couch at Sehun, and Sehun cackles. “What a show-off!”   
  
“Don’t tell me you don’t like it,” Sehun ripostes, and Jongin will blame his sudden blush on his laughter.  
  
A middle-aged woman from staff appears on the doorway, and her stern face makes their laughter die in their throats. “Excuse me? Please don’t throw the cushions. Thank you.”  
  
Sehun twists the corner of his mouth down when the woman leaves, and Jongin laughs again, stifling his laughter behind his hand.   
  
After Sehun is done being measured for his tux, he gives Jongin an apologetic smile when he’s finished changing back to his own clothes.  
  
“I’m glad you didn’t fall asleep on me,” Sehun says. “I thought you were going to live up to your sleepyhead fame.”   
  
“I was feeling like it, to be honest,” Jongin admits. He stretches his arms over his head, and stifles a yawn with his hand. “It was sort of taking you forever.”  
  
“I’m sorry. It takes me so long to pick clothes.” He laughs sheepishly. “Changmin hates to go shopping with me.”  
  
Jongin stiffens at the mention of Changmin’s name. It always feels like a bucket of water thrown over his head. Then he notes Sehun’s pensive look, his eyes studying the ground and his lips pressed into a line.  
  
“I liked shopping with you,” Jongin says. Sehun lifts his head, surprise clear in his features. “I’ve had a  really a good time so far.”  
  
Sehun’s smile is as bright as the sun above. “Me too,” Sehun says. “How about we go for that coffee I promised you earlier?”  
  
Sehun’s hand comes up to rest on Jongin’s nape for a handful seconds, and then it’s gone, but the tingle it leaves behind stays on his skin  for longer.   
  
  
  
They fall into an easy routine of LINE messages and occasional meet-ups for coffee at Sehun’s favorite café. Jongin’s days now consist of waking up to a message from Sehun telling him some silly story about the famous actors or actresses he dresses for photoshoots or dumb videos or gifs of puppies with the caption  _this made me think of you :)_.   
  
More often than not, whenever his phone beeps, Jongin knows it’s Sehun before he even unlocks it to find his name on the screen, but it never fails to bring a smile to his face. Jongin knows it’s dangerous, that rush of warmth that envelops his heart, but he can’t help it. He’s aware he’s long gone past the point of return.  
  
As the months go by, and the leaves turn into a perfect gold and bronze, he also knows that he’s running out of time. They never mention the wedding, but it’s always looming over their heads, like rain clouds on a clear sky. So Jongin decides to take what he can get—waking up with a smile to new messages, Sehun’s crooked-toothed grins, and subtle touches to his wrist to get his attention—and save it all for later. For the time when Sehun is inevitably, completely out of his reach, and Jongin goes back to picking up the pieces alone.  
  
  
  
Thursday is marked by a chilly breeze and an overcast sky when they meet up for coffee.  
  
Jongin has just come back from the studio, freshly showered. He notes with a little thrill Sehun’s gaze lingering on his damp hair sticking to his forehead and his collarbones visible over the low cut tank top he’s wearing.   
  
“Aren’t you going to get a cold dressed like that?” Sehun asks after Jongin has caught him staring.   
  
Sehun brushes his bangs off his forehead self-consciously, and Jongin grins. “That’s why I’m wearing a jacket,” he answers, pulling at his fleece jacket. “You sound like Junmyeon.”  
  
Sehun chuckles. “I can’t even imagine what Junmyeon-hyung’s had to put up with while growing up with you.”  
  
“I’m his favorite brother, thank you very much.”  
  
They sit at a table near the middle of the café, a soft pop song as background to their conversation. Jongin cradles an iced peppermint mocha in his hands while Sehun drinks from his bubble tea. Sehun is telling him about this drama he’s been keeping up with since he moved back to Seoul, his eyes bright as his hands follow his words enthusiastically. Jongin’s lopsided grin is fond as he watches him, his chin cupped in his hand.  
  
Sehun pauses, seeming to catch himself. “I can’t believe I’m turning into a middle-aged housewife already.” His laugh is disbelieving.   
  
They always skitter around Sehun’s impending wedding like this, hidden in jokes or mentions, but never the actual words. It’s easy for Jongin, to let Sehun make light of it, but it doesn’t hurt less at the end of the day.  
  
“I can’t believe you’re getting old. Your secret's safe with me,” Jongin says solemnly. Sehun laughs around his straw. It’s such a contagious sound, Jongin can’t help but join in while he says, “We could watch one together someday.”  
  
It’s meant to be light, a passing comment, but there’s an undercurrent of hopefulness that doesn’t go unnoticed. Jongin wishes he could take it back as soon as Sehun’s expression sobers, his thoughtful gaze locked with his.  
  
“That would be nice,” Sehun says, his tone neutral. Then, his lips twitch. “As long as your taste isn’t shit.”  
  
They bicker over their tastes in dramas for a while, and Jongin preens whenever he makes Sehun laugh hard enough he forgets to cover his mouth. He wonders if the gesture is a result of having worn braces once.  
  
“I can’t believe I never saw you at K-Arts,” Jongin says distractedly, when there’s a lull in their conversation. “I think I’d remember you if I had.”  
  
That makes Sehun pause for a moment, as though he’s caught off-guard. Any trace of surprise leaves him a second later, his face returning to its impassive expression.  
  
“Yeah, I went there only for two semesters,” Sehun explains. His eyes are on the table. He brushes his bangs off his forehead absently. “I hadn’t chosen a major before I transferred, but I used to take dance classes with Luhan-hyung, and he introduced me to Junmyeon-hyung.”  
  
“Why didn’t I see you around back then?” Jongin asks. He hopes he doesn’t sound as wistful as he feels at the question. He has spent too long pondering on that in the last few months. “I know campus was big, but we had a friend in common, and you met my brother… And I spent all my time in the dance studios.” He bites his lip. “It sounds kind of impossible we didn’t run into each other at least once.”  
  
Sehun smiles, his eyes dropping to the cup in his hand. “I used to wear braces and glasses back then.” He laughs bashfully, and his hand comes up to cover his face. “I looked terrible. I’m sort of glad you didn’t see me.”  
  
Jongin can’t help but grin at the image in his head. The words slip out before he can stop himself. “You probably looked just as good… I bet you looked cute with glasses.”  
  
Sehun whines  _shut up_  through his hands. He peeks at Jongin through a gap between his fingers, and Jongin doesn’t miss the redness on the tip of his ears. He’s so adorable. Jongin bites his lip at the fondness filling him, making his heart trip.    
  
“Stop it, oh my god,” Sehun mutters, his bottom lip sticking out. “You’re embarrassing me.”  
  
Jongin laughs. “Just being honest,” he says in return.   
  
Sehun drops his hands, and watches Jongin for a moment, a smile still playing at the corners of his lips. “Maybe you did see me, but you just don’t recognize me now.”  
  
“No, I  think I would definitely remember you,” Jongin says. He could hardly stop thinking of Sehun after they first met. He can’t imagine having seen Sehun once and forgotten about him.  
  
“And even though campus was big...” Sehun continues, as though Jongin hadn’t spoken. He seems to hesitate before he adds in a lower voice, “I did see  _you_  around a few times.”   
  
Jongin is taken aback, blinking several times. Sehun watches him from under his lashes, gauging his expression, his lip caught under his teeth.  
  
Jongin gapes, the words coming to him slow. “Did you? When?”  
  
“Around campus,” Sehun replies. His tone is so casual, a contrast to the jumble of thoughts in Jongin’s head. “Sometimes with Luhan-hyung or Junmyeon-hyung… Or that guy you were dating back then.”  
  
“And you never came up to us?”   
  
Sehun’s smile is a mystery in itself. “Maybe I was too shy to say hi.”  
  
A moment passes between them in which Jongin runs through all the possibilities in his head—meeting Sehun back in college before he left for China, when they could’ve shared meals and laughter, and maybe even kisses, for longer than a few hours on a night. A faint ache settles in his chest at the missed chance he never saw in front of him.  
  
“I would’ve liked to meet you back then,” Jongin says in time. He knows his tone as well as his smile thinly mask his wistfulness, but he doesn’t mind at this point. “I think we would’ve been good friends.”  
  
Sehun’s smile grows a tad wider. “Me too.”  
  
“I wanted to keep in touch after— _you know_ , when we met,” Jongin says, “but I figured—you lived in China and I was here, so I thought it was pointless.” He hears the echo of Kyungsoo’s words in his head, which had haunted him enough in the past. “But you don’t know how bad I wanted to.” He meets Sehun’s eyes, who watches him engrossed in turn. The ruefulness in Jongin’s smile is almost palpable. “I was following somebody else’s words. And now I sort of really,  _really_  regret it.”  
  
Sehun stares at him, and Jongin wishes he didn’t feel so exposed under that gaze. There’s something in Sehun’s eyes Jongin can’t quite read, but he’s seen that look before, exchanged with whispers of his name under sheets in a hotel room.   
  
Sehun’s lips part to say something, but any words are interrupted by Jongin’s phone ringing over the table between them. Jongin jumps, and almost topples over his chair when he stands up abruptly after seeing Baekhyun’s name in the caller ID.  
  
“Oh shit, I forgot about Baekhyun,” Jongin says, pocketing his phone. “I had to meet him like half an hour ago.”  
  
Sehun clears his throat. It dispels some of the lingering tension in the air. “Don’t worry.” He stands as well, collecting everything on the table. “I’ll go with you.”  
  
  
  
Baekhyun punches Jongin’s arm as soon as he’s in his proximity. Jongin’s  _ow!_  goes ignored for another punch delivered by a Baekhyun baring his teeth. Jongin has always thought Baekhyun looks more like a puppy when he’s angry, but he knows voicing that comparison wouldn’t help him at the moment. He gives Sehun a pleading look, but Sehun is too busy trying to keep his sniggers hidden behind his hand.  
  
“Where were you?!” Baekhyun demands. “People were starting to give me weirds looks for being the loser who got stood up! You’re not my friend anymore!”  
  
“I was with Sehun! I’m sorry!” Jongin says, breathless. Baekhyun stabs his fingers into his side.  
  
“He helped me pick a tux for the wedding,” Sehun says, finally stepping in, and Baekhyun stops torturing Jongin. “It’s my fault he’s late.”  
  
Baekhyun looks from Sehun to Jongin, and a knowing smile appears in his lips. Jongin is the one who wants to punch him now.  
  
“Alright,” Baekhyun says. “It’s okay, you’re here now.” He pats Jongin’s shoulder, as though he hadn’t just been attacking him. “Ah, Sehun-ah, you should come to the wedding if you can make it.”  
  
“Wedding? Who’s marrying now?”   
  
“Me!” Baekhyun says, beaming, his chest puffing up a little. “I think you met Taeyeon at Jongdae’s wedding. Well, I have yet to propose to her but—”  
  
“He’s so sure she’ll say yes,” Jongin tells Sehun, shaking his head. Baekhyun slaps his arm in retaliation.  
  
“You shush! I still haven’t fully forgiven you!” he says, pointing an accusing finger to Jongin, who just snickers. “Anyway, as I was saying—You should come to the wedding!”   
  
“Sure, hyung, I’ll be there,” Sehun acquiesces. He checks his watch. “Oh I should go now.” He bows to Baekhyun. “Bye, hyung. I’ll see you at your wedding.”  
  
“It was nice to see you, Sehun-ah!”   
  
Baekhyun takes one weighted look at Jongin when Sehun turns to him, and steps back to give them space. Jongin doesn’t know if he wants to thank him or kill him.   
  
“Thank you for coming with me today,” Sehun says, his hand on Jongin’s arm. “I’m sorry I made you late and Baekhyun hit you, but I had a really nice time anyway.”  
  
“It’s okay, it’s not like I’ll bruise or something,” Jongin jokes, and Sehun makes a sympathetic sound that makes both of them laugh.   
  
There’s a beat of silence where their eyes lock as if they were alone, instead of surrounded by a sea of people going about their business on a late Thursday afternoon. Jongin wants to place his hand over the one on his arm to keep it there, but then the moment passes, and Sehun looks down before he lets go.  
  
“See you later,” Sehun says, and gives him a smile before turning and walking away.  
  
Jongin stands there watching him go, a weight in his chest of all the things he wishes he could tell Sehun keeping him rooted to the ground.  
  
“Jongin, are you coming?” Baekhyun calls from the store’s entrance.  
  
Jongin turns to the path Sehun took, and then back to Baekhyun. He curses under his breath, and starts running in the former direction, ignoring Baekhyun calling out to him.   
  
He catches up to Sehun after a few minutes. He grabs his arm to stop him, and then bends to catch his breath.  
  
Sehun’s surprise is clear when he sees him. “Jongin, what are you—”  
  
“Wait,” Jongin says, his palm in front of him. “Let me explain—I just need to catch my breath first—”  
  
Sehun snorts. The sound is as unattractive as the way his features contort, but Jongin is still helplessly endeared. He’s reminded of when he heard that same sound the morning after they were together for the first time, and he knows he’s never been more in love with someone in his life.  
  
“I wanted to tell you,” Jongin starts, and then sighs, the words suddenly caught in his throat. “I know you’re getting married, and it’s so out of line for me to say this, but I—”  
  
“Jongin,” Sehun cuts in, his tone a warning. “Don’t, please.”  
  
Jongin’s exhale is shaky like the leaves in the trees around them. “I think you know what I’m trying to say.”   
  
Sehun watches him for long moment, his lips folded in. Every second of silence that passes is punctuated by Jongin’s heart beating loud in his ears.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Sehun says at length. His voice is as quiet and deep as the ache that rises in Jongin’s chest. “I’m sorry, Jongin, but I can’t do what you’re asking me.”  
  
A gust of wind ruffles the few naked branches in the trees lining the path, sending leaves swirling in the air to fall at their feet and tumbling over the pebbled path. Jongin’s own heart feels like it’s made out of thousands of tiny pebbles, being pulverized slowly.  
  
Jongin swallows around the lump in his throat. “I know,” he says quietly. “I just wanted you to know.”  
  
Sehun nods, and exhales deeply before taking a step towards Jongin. “Thank you,” he says, a gentle smile on his lips. “You’re a really nice person, Jongin.”  
  
“It’s okay.” Jongin attempts a smile, but it’s feeble at best.  “It’s not the first time I’ve got rejected anyway.”  
  
He follows his words with a dry chuckle, but it only earns a slight flinch on Sehun’s part.  
  
“I have to go now,” Sehun says. He hesitates for a moment, but then he leans in and kisses Jongin on the cheek. Jongin’s hands go to his waist involuntarily, and feels a little relieved when Sehun doesn’t remove them until he steps back. “Take care, Jongin.”  
  
Sehun gives him one last look over his shoulder before turning and going in the opposite direction. This  time Jongin doesn’t take too long to go back to the store, and it only takes Baekhyun one look at his face to hug him. If he feels the fabric of his hoodie a little damp afterwards, he doesn’t say a word.  
  
  
  
  
Jongin’s sneakers skid over the slick floor of the studio. He moves to the beat of A$AP Rocky’s Everyday, his limbs following the thump of the bass gracefully. He meets his gaze in the mirror, steady and unyielding, gasps leaving his parted lips and sweat glinting under the bright lights of the dance room.  
  
Jongin has spent nearly every waking hour at the studio during the last month and a half. He picks up on more classes to teach, and volunteers for all the choreographies they’re hired to compose. He welcomes all work that keeps his mind off Sehun, where it would linger every time he found a quiet moment alone. The soreness in his body helps him forget about the ache in his chest, even though the magnitude could never compare.  
  
He takes on a deep breath once the music ends, hands on his hips as he waits for his breathing to even. His limbs feel like jelly, but he knows he can go for another couple of hours if he pushes himself.   
  
He picks up a water bottle from the floor, and takes a long draught. “It still needs some practice,” he murmurs to himself.  
  
“I think it’s probably good as it is,” a voice says.   
  
Jongin jumps at the unexpected sound. He turns to find Minseok leaning against the door, watching him amusedly. He offers Jongin his gummy smile and a lazy wiggle of his fingers.  
  
“Do you want to kill me, hyung?” Jongin asks, his hand coming up to his chest. “You gave me a good scare.”  
  
“Look who’s talking,” he says, walking up to Jongin. “You used to hide behind doors to scare Jongdae when you were a kid.”  
  
Jongin grins at the memory. “Junmyeon used to scold me every time,” he says, “But you’d only laugh.”  
  
It’s the same loud, twinkling sound in the present as it is in his memory. “Jongdae’s scared face is funny.” Minseok shrugs. "And I guess I’ve always had a soft spot for my baby brother.”  
  
Jongin chuckles, abashed. “When did you become a sap, hyung?” He pushes him lightly, and his brother smiles broader. “Does marriage do that to people?”  
  
“Maybe it does,” he jokes. His expression sobers. “But there’s something else, I guess.” He pauses pensively, his hand running over his chest. Jongin waits, but he has an idea of where this is going. “I’m worried about you, Jonginnie.”  
  
Jongin ducks his head, his hands busy with the cap of the bottle. “Why?” He murmurs. “Did Jongdae put you up to this?”  
  
“Well… He made me promise not to tell you, but I guess you’d figure it out anyway,” he laughs. “But I am worried. Jongdae and the guys told me you’ve been spending a lot of time at the studio.” Minseok’s voice has an edge of concern now that makes Jongin’s mouth disappear into a line. “They said you don’t go out with them as much you used to. And you look… thinner, too.”  
  
Guilt washes over him. Jongin winces. “I’m okay,” he says quietly. “I’ve just been busy.”  
  
“Drowning yourself in work won’t solve anything, Jongin,” Minseok says. “I know somebody breaking your heart is hard, but—”  
  
“I don’t want to talk about it, hyung,” Jongin cuts in. He heaves a breath. “I’m really sorry for making you all worry.”   
  
Jongin knows he should move on, but everything reminds him of Sehun—tall dark-haired guys in a crowd, the smell of coffee, and even the stupid drama Baekhyun watches every Thursday. It feels like every time he tries to move forward, some memory of Sehun will come up to pull him back.  
  
“I will try not to make you worry again,” Jongin assures Minseok. He doesn’t sound convincing even to his own ears.  
  
There are still lines of concern on Minseok’s forehead, but they soften when he returns Jongin’s smile. “Okay, Jongin.” His hand rests on Jongin’s shoulder. “I’m counting on you.”

 

 

Baekhyun and Taeyeon hold their engagement party in Taeyeon’s apartment, where Baekhyun had moved into recently. 

Beers are shoved into their hands as soon as they arrive, courtesy of a very tipsy Baekhyun. He greets them both with a bright smile, his cheeks flushed, and his voice more chirpy than usual. Baekhyun has always been touchy-feely when he’s drunk. He hugs Jongdae and Chanyeol, and slaps Jongin’s butt before being dragged away by other guests.

Any other night, Jongin would be halfway down on his third beer, but tonight in particular, all he can think about is how long he can stay around until he can go back home and maybe catch a movie before going to bed. He sticks close to Jongdae and Chanyeol, saying hi to anyone familiar they encounter, but avoiding swiftly a conversation.

Jongdae promptly disappears, and then it’s just him and Chanyeol. When they get tired of watching the guests milling around, they head to the terrace, and sit on two wicker chairs on a corner. 

The view of the city is breathtaking, lights glittering in the distance and reflecting over the inky surface of the river. They talk about gossip from the people they saw inside, who is seeing who and who left who for someone  else. Jongin watches Chanyeol’s profile, his tired eyes a contrast to his smile. He can tell Chanyeol’s blithe tone is a bit strained, and soon enough, they fall into a weighted silence, heavy around them with things unsaid. Jongin and Chanyeol rarely keep things from each other, so Jongin decides to wait patiently for his friend to speak.

“Baekhyun asked me to be his best man,” Chanyeol says in time. 

_Oh,_ Jongin wants to say, almost slips past his lips, but he feels it would be inappropriate. “And what did you say?” Jongin asks instead. “Did you say yes?”

Chanyeol heaves a deep sigh, as though he was dragging something from deep inside of him. An affirmative hum is all he gives for an answer.

Jongin opens his mouth to say something, maybe even protest, but he knows it’s hopeless. Chanyeol has always been the type of person who’s always been there for everyone and kept his promises. There’s nothing Jongin could say to make him change his mind.

“What else could I have said,” Chanyeol says, his tone defeated, as though he had read Jongin’s mind. “I’m his best friend, right? We’ve been best friends since college, it only made sense he asked me, so could I have said no?” He pauses. “But I just wish—” he trails off, his eyes lost in the blinking lights of the city below.

Jongin heaves a sigh of his own, and pats Chanyeol heavily on his shoulder. “Me, too.”

“But you know what?” Chanyeol says, a new kind of determination in his voice. “I’m not going to let this ruin things for me. I’m going to find someone else someday, and they might not be  _him_ , but I don’t think that’s so bad, right?”

Chanyeol turns to him, his big eyes bright and seeking, as though looking for reassurance. Jongin doesn’t quite feel up to giving any at the moment.

“Did you know I was going to ask Kyungsoo to marry me?” Jongin asks, rhetorically. His voice is low, a rough edge to it. Chanyeol’s eyes are rounder than usual. He shakes his head lightly. “I used to think Kyungsoo was the only person for me, so I was so heartbroken when he left me that I didn’t want anything to do with relationships ever again.”

Jongin remembers selling the ring a month after his phone call to Kyungsoo, and going home to throw away everything that conjured memories of him. He’d decided then that love wasn’t real and lasting if the love that he’d thought was for life had hurt him so much. He wonders now if he’d been wrong in that.

“I think you’re right,” Jongin says finally. He stands up, and takes his beer from the floor to drain it in one go.

Chanyeol’s round eyes look up at him expectantly. Chanyeol, who’s still so optimistic about love even though the person he loves is getting married to someone else.  

Jongin wants that kind of optimism, too. He wonders if he can find it in someone else, if it isn’t Sehun.

Jongin smiles and offers Chanyeol his hand. “C’mon, let’s go find us someone.”

 

 

 

Jongin wakes up from a nap, and as the world comes slowly into focus, he finds that the house is eerily quiet. He shuffles downstairs, his blanket over his shoulders. The house was always too cold in the winter.

Baekhyun is sitting in the couch in the living room, alone. Jongin stops in the doorway when he takes note of the forlorn look on his face, staring into the low table in front of him.

“Baekhyun, what’s wrong?” he asks, taking careful steps towards the sofa.

And then he notices it. Over the table is a ring box, opened to reveal a small, diamond ring. The same ring he’d helped Baekhyun choose for Taeyeon months ago.

“She dumped me,” Baekhyun says, his voice husky. It sounds so miserable Jongin thinks for a moment it belongs to someone else. His eyes are glassy and his lip quivers when he speaks, “Taeyeon broke up with me.”

“Hyung,” Jongin says. He sits next to Baekhyun, wrapping his arms around him. Baekhyun lets out a dry sob, his head resting on Jongin’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”

“She said we were going too fast,” Baekhyun goes on, so quietly Jongin has to strain to hear it. “That she’d meant to break up with me sooner, but then I proposed to her, and she felt bad about it.”

Jongin makes a sympathetic sound, stroking Baekhyun’s hair. “She should’ve said something sooner.” Baekhyun makes a noncommittal sound, his head now buried in Jongin’s neck. “It’s her fault, then. Don’t worry, hyung, it’s going to be okay. I’ll call Jongdae and Chanyeol and we can have a drink or something.”

Baekhyun’s body stiffens against his, his fingers playing with Jongin’s shirt going still. He takes a deep breath, his hair tickling Jongin’s face. “No, it’s my fault, too.” There’s an edge of beration to his voice that sparks a pang of worry in Jongin.

“Why do you think it’s your fault?” Jongin asks gently.

There’s a beat of silence that drags on too long, and if it weren’t for Baekhyun’s finger fiddling with his shirt again, Jongin would think he’d fallen asleep on his shoulder.

“She said she couldn’t stand that I loved Chanyeol more than her,” Baekhyun says after a while. 

Jongin gapes, his eyes wide in surprise. “What?” 

“I didn’t think she knew,” Baekhyun continues, sniffling as he lifts his head from Jongin’s shoulder. His eyes are red-rimmed and puffy and his nose is rosy. He wipes his damp cheek clumsily with the sleeve of his sweater. “I didn’t think it was obvious.”

Jongin is still trying to process his words. He’d suspected of Chanyeol crushing on Baekhyun for a while before his friend told him himself, but he’d never realized Baekhyun was on the same boat. Baekhyun had always been sweet and teasing and flirty with everyone, always clinging and hugging and touching people he liked. 

“You and Chanyeol?”  Jongin asks dumbly, his mind still reeling. 

In any other moment, Baekhyun would’ve laughed at him and called him  _dummy Jongin_  with that sweet lilt of his voice, but now he only nods, and looks down at his hands on his lap. “Since a few years ago, before I met Taeyeon,” he explains. “I thought I would get over him with time, but I guess it never happened.” 

“But you… you never said you were into guys.”

Baekhyun’s smile is so rueful, it makes Jongin’s heart clench a little in his chest. Baekhyun is one of the happiest people he knows, and he’d never seen him trying to feign a smile before. He strokes Baekhyun’s arm, who squeezes his knee in response.

“I think Chanyeol is the only guy I’ve ever really looked at.” His smile slips, and his eyes drop to his hands once again. “Taeyeon said she couldn’t stand thinking that the way I looked at him would never change,” he says quietly. “Said she got tired of always being second best.”

“I’m sorry, hyung,” Jongin says, sympathetic, patting his knee twice. “But I think it was better if you broke up, then.”

Baekhyun hums, and then whines louder, lips jutted out in a pout. “I hate break ups! I’m going to have to cancel everything, and explain it to my parents and everyone else—”

His words hang in the air when the front door opens. There are heavy footsteps down the hallway before Chanyeol appears in the doorway seconds later. His smile is amiable and open, a contrast to the way Baekhyun’s body tenses next to Jongin on the couch.

“Explain what?” Chanyeol asks, conversational, as he takes off his jacket.

He slides his beanie off his head, and then ruffles his hair.  Jongin turns to Baekhyun, who looks at Chanyeol with a guarded expression, his teeth nibbling on his bottom lip.

Jongin has spent too long waiting for someone, but he knows Baekhyun and Chanyeol have been waiting for each other for even longer. “I think you guys should talk,” he says, standing up from the couch.

Baekhyun grabs his wrist, and gives him a pleading look, his droopy eyes suddenly wide with panic. “Don’t leave me!” he hisses through gritted teeth.

“It’s for your own good!” Jongin whispers back, and pulls on his Baekhyun’s grip until he lets go.

“Wait, what happened?” Chanyeol asks, worry laced in his voice, finally taking in Baekhyun’s flushed nose and puffy eyes.

Wordlessly, Jongin slides closed the door to the living room just as Baekhyun sucks in a deep breath, and begins to speak. He’s about to return to his room when the doorbell rings. Scratching his jaw, he thinks absently of maybe Jongdae dropping by, having heard the news about Baekhyun, but his heart stops for a moment when he opens the door to find Sehun standing in his doorway. 

Jongin is speechless for a handful of seconds, his mouth opening and closing until he remembers how to speak. “H-Hey! What are you doing here?”

Sehun’s smile is equally shy as his tone. “I wanted to talk to you about something.” He licks his lips.  “Are you busy now? I’m sorry to show up so out of the blue.”

“Uh, no, don’t worry,” Jongin sputters, still taken aback. “I wasn’t doing anything right now, so I have some time.”

Jongin remembers Baekhyun and Chanyeol in the living room, and decides that he can’t talk to Sehun inside. Sehun nods and steps back into the street while Jongin closes the door behind him. 

He suddenly feels a flash of self-consciousness at Sehun seeing him in his house slippers and tracksuit with holes in the knees, unshaven and his hair a mess from the nap he’d taken earlier. But when he’s standing in front of him, Sehun smiles at him softly, and Jongin’s heart swells at the sight of him. He’s wearing a leather jacket over a white hoodie, a black beanie pulled over his hair. He looks just as beautiful as he’d looked the last time Jongin had seen him, standing in the middle of that pebbled path in that autumn afternoon months ago, Jongin bearing his heart out to him, and Sehun’s sad eyes when he’d told him he was sorry. The memory always brings a bittersweet taste, which lingers long after it has gone from his mind.

“I’ve been thinking about what you said last time,” Sehun starts, and licks his lips again before he continues, “You know, when we were at that park—”

“Yeah, I remember it,” Jongin cuts in. His gaze drops to his slippers.  “I try not to think about it, to be honest.” 

“I’m sorry,” Sehun says, his voice low. Jongin’s eyes snap up to Sehun when he hears him. “But I want you to know… I didn’t mean it. In fact—” Sehun pauses, and fumbles with pockets of his jeans, his fingers halfway out of them. “I think I really liked what you said, back then.”

Jongin’s eyebrows knit in confusion. “What do you mean?”

Sehun takes a step closer to him. “I mean... that I feel the same way.”

Jongin gapes. His heart pounds in his chest. “What—But what about—”   

“Changmin?” Sehun asks. A mirthless smile makes its way to his lips. “We broke up last week. I was tired of him never being at home and he got sick of me putting off the wedding date so we fought a lot.” He shakes his head, looking down at the ground. There’s an edge of bitterness to the pull of his mouth, and Jongin wants to press his fingers over it, smooth it down. “We just weren’t right for each other.”

Jongin scrambles for words to say, but all he manages is a quiet, “I’m sorry.”

Sehun considers him for a moment, and Jongin feels himself melt under his eyes. “Do you know why I never came up to talk to you when we were in college?” Sehun asks. There’s not much of a question in his tone, but Jongin shakes his head all the same. “I once saw you dance in the studio I took classes in. I came in early, and you were practicing, I guess—and I remember thinking, ‘ _wow, I have never seen someone more beautiful in my whole life._ ’”

Jongin’s breath catches in his throat. His cheeks feel too hot for a winter afternoon. His mouth opens and closes around words he can’t form, like a fish out of the water. Sehun chuckles at his expression, but it’s a brittle sound that matches his sad eyes.

“I’d watch you from afar since then,” Sehun continues, and then gives a dry laugh. “I’m sorry for being such a creep, but I was too nervous to talk to you. You were so pretty and cool, with your friends and hyungs, and I was this shy kid with braces and glasses.” He sighs. “And like a few months after I saw you, you got a boyfriend. I thought that was it, I needed to move on. I took that exchange program to China on an impulse, and left.”

“Sehun.” Jongin reaches for Sehun’s hand, their fingers lacing together. “If I’d known—”

“Yeah, I don’t know if things would’ve really been that different,” Sehun says. “And I was just being dramatic. It was my first heartbreak.” He shrugs one shoulder. “I was a baby back then, and you broke my heart,” he reproaches him. His tone is teasing, but it still breaks Jongin’s heart.

Sehun’s lower lip sticks out, and Jongin wants to kiss it so bad. It reminds him of Sehun kissing him slowly in his hotel bed, the morning after they’d met. He also remembers how easily Sehun had picked up his bag and left. How he’d turned him down in the middle of that pebbled path. Just the memory of it makes his chest ache.

He swallows over the dryness in his mouth. “Sehun,” he says quietly, his voice sounding strange to his own ears. “I’m with someone. I’ve been seeing them for a month now.”

Sehun stares for a moment, as though registering his words. Then there’s the smallest grin in his lips, but it lacks any of the warmth Jongin had grown familiar with.

“Ah, right,” Sehun says, his eyes on the ground again. “I’d heard from Junmyeon-hyung. I’d thought we could patch things up anyway, but I guess I’m too late.”

Jongin watches him—the smoothness of his pale skin, his brown eyes, his pink, soft lips. He cups Sehun’s cheek in his hand, and Sehun leans into his touch, his eyes fluttering closed for a second. And then Sehun steps back, his eyes on his sneakers and mouth set in a straight line.

“I’m sorry,” Jongin says, letting go of his hand. “I should go back inside.”

Sehun nods, still not looking at him. Jongin takes one last glance at him before going inside. 

 

 

 

 

Jongin wakes up when there’s a knock in his door. He doesn’t know when he fell asleep or how long he’d been out for, but it’s still light outside. His eyes burn, and his rubes them with a fist. Chanyeol’s grin greets him when he opens his door, and Jongin tries his best to return it.

“So, how’d it go?” Jongin asks. His voice is rough, so he clears his throat. 

He sits on the edge of his bed, and Chanyeol sits beside him. Jongin can almost feel Chanyeol trying to hold back his excitement.

“Great,” Chanyeol says. “We talked and… uh, we kissed.” 

His smile widens at his own words. His cheeks are flushed. He looks for all the world like a giddy kid with his first crush. Jongin doesn’t have to force a smile at that. 

Chanyeol laughs disbelievingly. “I can’t believe this is happening.” 

“I’m glad everything worked out for you two,” Jongin says, squeezing his arm gently. “How is he about Taeyeon, by the way?”

“He’s still sad,” Chanyeol says, his joy subduing. “He’s taking a nap now. He was tired from crying earlier.”

“It was good she broke things off before it got worse,” Jongin says, and Chanyeol nods.

“I think he knows that,” Chanyeol says. “But we’re just going to take it slow for now. We’re definitely not telling anyone besides you guys.”

Jongin doubts the ‘taking it slow’ part, having known both for them for quite some time and knowing how long they’ve been waiting to be together, but he doesn’t comment on it. 

“Who was that at the door earlier?” Chanyeol asks.

“Oh, it was Sehun,” Jongin answers, his eyes fixed on the floor. “He just came by for a bit.”

Chanyeol’s round eyes search Jongin’s face, not believing his casual tone for a second. “Is everything okay?”

Jongin licks his lips, and considers lying for a moment. But there’s concern in the knit of Chanyeol’s eyebrows, and Jongin has never been good with keeping things from his best friend. He sighs, and it’s as though his whole facade deflates with that single exhale. 

“He told me he broke up with Changmin,” Jongin says in a low voice. Chanyeol’s eyes widen. “He broke off their engagement.”

“And what did you say?” Chanyeol asks. “Why aren’t you with him right now, I don’t know, fucking him or something?”

“Because I’m dating someone, remember?” Jongin prevaricates. “I promised myself I would commit to a relationship this time.”

“You’ve only gone on two dates! I bet you don’t even remember his last name!” 

“B-But—” Jongin cuts off himself. He sighs, his shoulders dropping. “I don’t know, I’m just… What if Sehun leaves me for someone else again?” He ruffles his hair nervously. “What if he just… leaves again or changes his mind?”

Chanyeol rolls his eyes. Jongin gasps when Chanyeol smacks him upside the head. 

“What was that for?!” Jongin whines, rubbing his head while scowling at Chanyeol.

“Kim Jongin, you’re dumber than I thought!” Chanyeol scolds him. Jongin blinks, taken aback. “You’ve been in love with that guy for more than a year now, and you let him go so easily when he confesses to you?” Chanyeol shakes his head. “I thought I raised you better than this.”

Jongin gapes at his outburst, and doesn’t show resistance when Chanyeol grabs his shoulders.

“Listen,” Chanyeol says. “There’s the risk of Sehun leaving again, yes, but every time you fall in love you’re taking a risk. If we stopped doing things to avoid the risks, we wouldn’t be able to experience anything.” 

Jongin considers his words. He had seen the sincerity in Sehun’s eyes, but doubt still bugs him, like an itch, at the back of his mind.

Chanyeol takes one look at his face and sighs. “I guess I’ll leave you to think about it.” He smiles understandably at Jongin’s gloomy expression. “Don’t worry, it’ll turn out for the best.” He bumps his shoulder with Jongin’s and gets up to leave the room.

Later, Jongin’s in bed when a message pops up in his phone from Baekhyun.  _Thank you for earlier!!! i’ll buy you dinner tmrw ^^,_  it reads. He can hear Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s voices faintly downstairs and imagines the smile on Baekhyun’s face as he’d typed the text. Jongin smiles, pleased.

His thumb hovers over Sehun’s LINE thread before clicking on it. He reads over their previous conversations and finds himself laughing over Sehun’s silliness. A surge of longing spreads over him, nearly choking him in its force. This is what he misses most—Sehun’s steady presence in his life even when Jongin couldn’t completely have him. 

Now he could have all of him. And he wants him.

He starts typing before he regrets it.  _Can we talk? Please..._

The response comes an hour later in a short line. Jongin’s heart in his throat as he reads it.  _Come over at 11,_ followed simply by an address.

 

 

 

Jongin’s hands are trembling when he knocks on the door. He gets a flashback of a moment like this, from long ago. He doesn’t have time to dwell on it, though, because the door opens and Sehun greets him with unreadable eyes. Sehun steps aside to let him in without a word.

“Hey,” Jongin says. He attempts a weak smile. “Thanks for letting me come see you.”

The air is charged between them. Sehun’s gaze is steely. “What did you want to tell me?”

Jongin notices then the redness around Sehun’s eyes. His heart falls to the floor and spills over Sehun’s wood floor. 

He reaches out to take Sehun’s hand. Sehun’s eyes open, surprised, but he doesn’t pull away. 

“I wanted to apologize,” Jongin says. “For what I said earlier. I was an idiot.” Jongin licks his lips. “And I also wanted…” He takes a step closer to Sehun. His heart is pounding in his ears. “I  _needed_  to tell you that I love you, too. I’ve been in love with you since you showed up at my brother’s wedding last year.”

Sehun’s expression softens. His shoulders sag, as if releasing a breath he had been holding. He smiles, relief alight in his eyes. “About time,” he says quietly, and Jongin laughs.

“I was so dumb earlier,” Jongin says, shaking his head lightly. “I shouldn’t have turned you down for someone I’ve been seeing for less than a month. But I was… afraid.” He inhales deeply. “I was once in love with someone who left me. Long ago. And I didn’t want to get hurt again.”

Sehun shakes his head vigorously. He releases Jongin’s hand to place both hands on his waist. “That’s not going to happen,” Sehun says. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

There’s conviction in his low voice. Jongin’s heart is made of paper, so light it could fly away.

“How could I leave you when I was the one who was dumb,” Sehun mumbles, more to himself than anything else. 

He rests his forehead against Jongin, and his breath tickles his lips when he speaks. He smells like aftershave and fruity bubblegum, and Jongin’s chest brims with yearning.

“I’ve been dumb ever since I saw you back at Jongdae’s wedding,” Sehun continues. “I knew how I felt about you, but I didn’t say anything. I should’ve made up my mind sooner, but I didn’t want to hurt Changmin. And instead… I hurt you.” He exhales deeply. “I’m so, so sorry.”

It’s such a bittersweet feeling, how much time they’d wasted longing for each other. 

Jongin doesn’t want to wait anymore.

Jongin’s hand strokes Sehun’s hair at the back of his head.“It’s okay. We were both dumb,” Jongin says. “But we can be dumb together now.”

Sehun smiles bright before he leans in to kiss him. Jongin can feel his smile against his lips, and he plunges in to taste more of it. Sehun presses him against the wall, and Jongin opens his mouth to welcome his tongue. Jongin’s heart feels like it’s going to burst, with how intense and delicious it all is. He runs his hands down Sehun’s back, slipping his hands into his pants to grab his cheeks. Sehun ruts against him in response, moaning into the kiss. 

“I’m never letting you go again,” Sehun says, panting, once they’ve pulled away. There’s a tinge of desperation in his voice that sets Jongin’s skin aflame. “Would you forgive me for being so dumb?”

“There’s nothing to forgive,” Jongin says softly. He holds Sehun’s face in his hands. “I’m not letting you go either.” He kisses the corner of Sehun’s mouth, where his lips curve. “Never again.”

 

 

 

 

 

The only sounds in the church are those of the pastor’s voice and the sobs coming from the altar. 

Junmyeon stands next to Soojung, teary-eyed while he tries to hide his quiet whimpers behind his hand. Soojung holds his other hand, smiling amusedly at his future husband. She looks beautiful in her long, white dress, the silver sequin over the lace sparkling under the sunlight streaming from the tall windows. 

Sehun can’t stop gushing over the dress and how ethereal she looks, turning every five minutes to whisper it in Jongin’s ear. 

“You know I love  _you_  more,” he says after Jongin gives him a sharp glare. Jongin laughs and nuzzles his head into Sehun’s neck.

“Good,” Jongin says. “I was getting worried there for a second.”

Sehun snorts. “Are you jealous?”

Jongin rolls his eyes. “Of course not.”

“Good,”  Sehun echoes him, “because nobody else has that cute butt of yours so you don’t have to worry.”

Jongin laughs, low and airily. “Oh Sehun,” he says, bumping their shoulders, “are you actually dating me for my butt?”

“Nope,” Sehun says. He presses a chaste kiss to Jongin’s lips. It never fails to make him melt in the inside, and he presses a little more against him. “I am  _marrying_  you for your butt.”

Sehun squeezes their joined hands resting over his tigh. Their engagement rings glint in the sunlight from the window closest to their seats. It makes Jongin smile wide—fondness and love and happiness spreading to every inch of him.

“So now you know my secret,” Sehun says.

Jongin chuckles, and kisses his cheek. “And all this time I thought you were marrying me because you loved me,” Jongin says. “That or because you can’t cook to save your life.”

Sehun gasps. “But you love my ramen ttang!”

“Shut up, both of you!” Baekhyun hushes them, turned in his seat to face them. “You’ve been talking the whole time I can’t even hear the pastor!”

“You were talking, too!” Sehun protests childishly. 

“You two are louder than we are,” Jongin says. “At least my hand isn’t on Sehun’s crotch.”

Baekhyun glares at them, and removes his hand from Chanyeol’s thigh. Chanyeol laughs at their bickering.

“Let’s just try to keep it quiet, alright?” Chanyeol says, his hand rubbing Baekhyun’s shoulder. Baekhyun smiles lovingly up at him, and turns back to face the front. “And you two stop being so noisy.”

“Okay, mom,” Jongin teases him. Chanyeol scowls at him before turning.

“I’m going to make you my best ramen ttang when we get home,” Sehun promises, picking up on their conversation before Baekhyun’s interruption. “That’ll show you.” Sehun leans in, his lips pressed to Jongin’s ear. “And then I’ll show you some other things.”

Sehun’s lips on his skin makes his skin tingle. Jongin thinks he could never get tired of all the things Sehun provokes in him with just the smallest actions. 

Jongin lifts one eyebrow, his smile bemused. “Will you now?” Sehun nods gravely. Jongin huffs a laugh and drops another kiss on Sehun’s cheek. “Okay, I can’t wait.”

Sehun smiles sweetly. His eyes on Jongin still make his heart race like the first time they kissed. He hopes it never stops.

“Do you want to know another secret?” Sehun whispers into his ear. It sends a pleasant shiver down Jongin’s spine. He nods. “I really, really, really love you.” 

Jongin had once fear his face would split with the way Sehun makes him smile. “Do you?” he teases. Sehun nods earnestly like a child. It makes Jongin’s heart jump with endearment. “Because I do, too. I really, really, really do.”

Jongin hears Jongdae make a gagging noise and Sunyoung giggling in the row behind them. He ignores it in favour of kissing Sehun again. 

Sehun’s smile is like the early morning sun, cradling Jongin in its warmth.  Jongin’s happiness is like the rising tide, swelling inside of him. 

“Good,” Sehun says. 

Jongin’s thumb caresses the blush painted over Sehun’s pale cheeks, and smiles warmly. He rests his head on Sehun’s shoulder as Junmyeon prepares to read over his vows. 

_I promise to hold you, comfort and tend you, protect you and shelter you._

Sehun holds his hand tight and secure between them as if he can’t imagine ever letting go of it. Jongin hopes he never will. 

_I promise to love you and be by your side through all the days and nights of our lives._

He knows he’s never letting go.  
 

 

 


End file.
